If you want to see what you've never seen before, you've got to do what you've never done before.
Kermit's Cyber Wellness Pals
Kermit's Frens
Categories
- Anyone Can Cook (3)
- beauty (2)
- Coping with the Digital Era (7)
- Cyber Wellness (2)
- Encouragement (3)
- Funnies (8)
- Gal 2 Gals (16)
- Happening Life (19)
- News around the World (1)
- Random (7)
- relationship (12)
- The World is Smaller Than U Think (15)
- This is interesting (29)
- Treasuring ur family (13)
Shout it Out!!!
It's a good thing to praise children for the praiseworthy things they do. But is there a limit to the compliments we offer them?
Praise is essential to a child's self-esteem and the children who grow up without it typically wither like un-watered plants. But too many good words for the wrong reasons can be inflationary in nature. This is called flattery, and the essence of it is that it is unearned. It's what Grandma says when she comes for a visit, "Oh, look at my beautiful little girl! You're getting prettier everyday!" Or, "My, what a smart boy you are!" Flattery happens when you heap compliments on a child for something that he does not achieve. Praise, on the other hand, is a genuine response to good things that you child has done. To be effective, it should be highly specific. "You've been a good boy" is too general. Much better is, "I like the way you cleaned your room today!" Or, "I'm proud of the way you studied for that math assignment last night!"
Praise reinforces the child's constructive behaviour. It tells him he's done something positive and valuable, and it makes him want to repeat it. Parents should avoid sliding into empty flattery. But they should always be ready to offer genuine praise to those who deserve their commendation, and that includes every child if we're alert to the opportunities around us.
I teach. (*nopes I'm not a teacher, keep trying .... if u wish... hahhaha)
One of the things I teach is Cyber-Grab (Piracy... Burning & ripping CDs to MP3... pirated VCDs... software....games...plagarism etc etc).
I love to share a personal example of what I heard our wise teacher Mr Hee Guan shared with us before. There was once during our gathering Mr Hee Guan gathered us (as best as i could quote him):
"Hey young people you know... life is not easy.... In our life people can steal many different and precious things from us. Our happiness, $$$, loved ones or even virginity (in some bad cases la). But there's ONE thing, ONE precious thing in your life which no one one can ever steal away from you though you may choose to throw it away yourselves. Do you know what is it?
(I thought really hard but no smart answer)
And that one thing is your I*N*T*E*G*R*I*T*Y "
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Wow!!!! What a big word...integrity... what's that??? I was already in the university then but this word came as a big word to me. Well I'm the cheena, chinese kind. Big words like that requires me to check the dictionary.
I*N*T*E*G*R*I*T*Y is more than honesty. It's choosing to do the right things even when no one is looking.
At that point in time I secretly wished that I could have heard it earlier because I was reminded how I throw my integrity away on a daily basis. The earlier days before our current ezy-link card system comes about, Singapore still uses transit-link card. With transit-link card bus commuters select the bus fare themselves. The bus ride from my home to the university is more than an hour, that is about the full fare of $1.00 or $1.20 but I will select the 65cents fare regardless of how long the bus journey is - rationalizing within myself that my family is not rich and I need to save whatever spare I could to better use. Choosing to do the right thing is super difficult can.....but I've come to learn that it's not impossible.
Just try for the 1st three times doing it. And you realized that it gets less & less difficult each time. Usually it's the first time that seems unattainable. But that's rubbish I assure you. Remember -> the brain becomes what the brain does.
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Back to sharing with my students:
With the evolvement of technology & the Net there is now more & more greys areas. Pirated vcds, cds... seems like so many people out there are doing it..... how do u share with the kids..... or even convince them of something tat's so precious (integrity) Man..... (I need help). Though many people out there are doing it doesn't mean it is right. I think I was given a chance to go thru the 65cents days so i can have a good laugh over myself for the NOW as well.
HAHAHA.
Haven't blog for soooooo long due to my busy schedule. Finally can set my thoughts down to share.
I'm doing something new recently -> to learn to do new things. Complicated???!!
I tend to stay in the familiar and comfortable zones of my life. Being in unfamiliar zones scares me.
This year's challenge for myself is do new things!!! I'm scared but excited too. Sometimes the feelings of excitment exceeds that of fear but on other days .....
One new thing I did recently was to upgrade my trusted lovely Nokia phone 6510 to a PDA phone. It's a hearty four years old!
Still learning to figure out the features. Within eight days if i can find any problem it's an exchange for a new set.
I started reading my emails & talking on MSN once with my phone. Pretty slow as I'm not used to the small screen and typing etc. But the feeling roxxxxxx BIG TIME!
When a child is convinced that he is greatly loved and respected by his parents, he is inclined to accept his own worth as a person. However, I’ve observed that many children know they are loved by their parents, but they reason to believe that they are not respected by them.
These seemingly contradictory attitudes are not so uncommon in human relationships. E.g a wife can love her alcoholic husband, and yet disrespect him for what he has become. Thus a child can conclude in his mind, 'Sure, they love me because I’m their child – I can see that I’m important to them – but they are not proud of me as a person. I’m a disappointment to them. I’ve let them down.'
It’s very easy to convey love and disrespect at the same time. You are tense and nervous when a child starts to speak; you interrupt and answer questions for him; you lecture her before she goes off to spend a weekend at someone else’s house; her hair is a mess and you reveal your frustration in getting it right. These are signals that you don’t trust that boy or girl with their image.
Loving your child is only half the task of building self-esteem. The element of respect must be added if you are to counterbalance the insults that society will throw at him or her.
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This is pretty cool. It's something that I've never thought about before. Hmmmm. Got me thinking. It's a fine balance to maintain.
Labels: relationship, Treasuring ur family
But one day... just be prepared.... one fine day the volcano will still explode cause it's full!!! :(
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Won't you like to prevent a volcano's continuous eruption? Eruption is not good. It's destructive to others & self.
Whenever I erupt. I would feel very very guilty after that. I'll just share something which I've learnt before. It's known as A, B, C. (It's a thought process that guide you step by step to better understand yourself)
Activating event
- Scolded by mother
Consequences/Consequential action
- Bang the door as I go out to show my unhappiness at being scolded
Belief system
- My mom doesn't love me
Basically because of my belief system (mother don't love me) I banged the door as an act of protest. Since she doesn't love me I bang the door she also won't care what.
In actual fact this couldn't be further away from the truth. I remember that I felt guilty after that and called home to apologize after much deliberation. She sounded really sad & said that "sorry" very easy to say but it's difficult to recover from the hurt inside.
My perception of my mom was incorrect. She loves me. She loves me enough to feel hurt by my actions.
Thank God that was years back & things has improved.
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Many times people jump from A -> C-> B. But A -> B-> C is really the way to go. If we could pause a little longer to think and ask ourself what's our belief system (B) is. Then we will be able to manage our consequential actions & feelings (C) better. In my case if I know that my mom loves me then I probably would not have banged the door knowing that it will sadden her. The plus point is we probably will end up a happier person as well. :)
I'm sorry this turned out to be a complicated posting. Are you confused by all the words???? Leave me a comment perhaps & we can discuss further.
Labels: Happening Life
A better title than the above can be "Anger Management". But I prefer "I am MAD".
It's usually not a nice sight when someone is angry (which realistically prompted me to find the most ugly picture around)
Personally I tend to just sulk and frown & coop it inside & hope that it will go away soon. Then I go all quiet. My good friend always tell me that much as I try to act normal she can easily tell when I'm mad. hahha...
What's your first reaction when you get upset?
1) Fly into a temper?2) Let out a word or two to ease the frustration?
3) Coop it all inside yourself & hope it goes away?
From my personal experience. Option 3 is not that great a choice. I can keep keep keep & try to stack it deep deep down inside. But one day... just be prepared.... one fine day the volcano will still explode cause it's full!!! :(
Labels: Happening Life
A professor shared that this quote that really impacted me. The brain BECOMES what the brain DOES.
E.g. if you keep reading books, your brain becomes an expert in reading books;
if you keep watching television, your brain becomes an expert television watcher.....OOOHHH
Labels: This is interesting
Jan 17, 2007 - The Straits Times
By Tan Hui Yee & Chua Hian Hou
IS THERE A GAMING ADDICT IN YOUR HOME?
IT MAY start out looking like a harmless hobby, but for more and more Singaporean youths, video and computer games are becoming a serious obsession.
Five or six years ago, about one patient under the age of 19 admitted to the Institute of Mental Health (IMH) in a year would have problems associated with gaming or Internet addiction. Now, about 12 of the roughly 200 new young in-patients the institute sees every year need treatment for such problems, said Dr Daniel Fung, a senior consultant psychiatrist at the IMH's child guidance clinic.
The warning signs are varied, but not difficult to spot: withdrawal from social activity, worsening grades, restlessness when away from the computer and even outbursts of anger if prevented from playing games. The problem is significant enough that a new centre was opened in August last year to help young people truggling with game addictions. So far it has handled more than 40 cases. Touch Community Services, which runs this 'cyberwellness' centre in Bukit Merah, provides mentoring and counselling for young people and also works with their parents on the problem.
The rising number of cases comes as online video games like World Of Warcraft and MapleStory become more popular. A 2004 report by research firm IDC put the number of gamers here at more than one million.
In one case the centre saw last year, a secondary school boy had lost touch with many of his friends after moving to a new estate and resorted to online gaming to get to know people. According to Touch's cyberwellness and sports manager, Mr Poh Yeang Cherng, the boy eventually became hooked, spending more than 12 hours a day playing the game MapleStory. Once an extrovert, the boy turned moody, his grades slipped and he began playing truant. After the boy went for counselling, he made friends with the staff and mentors at the centre. Meanwhile, his mother attended workshops to understand the difficulty her son
was going through and joined a support group for parents having similar problems with their children.
Today, the boy spends only about two to three hours gaming every day and has found a new group of friends.
Mr Poh said it is important to understand the child's motivation. In some cases, he may want to feel the sense of achievement, or like the competition or immersing himself in another world. By identifying the motivation, it is easier to address the problem.
Experts said that parents can prevent their children from becoming video game addicts by keeping a look-out
for the warning signs and engaging their kids in meaningful activities. They also said that some parents who notice signs of addiction do not react until their children begin failing exams or throwing temper tantrums.
Delaying action can allow the obsession to get out of hand, making it harder in the long run to help the child get back on track.
Interestingly, saw this article on the papers.
Jan 9, 2007
TEENS VENT ON ONLINE DIARIES FOR THE WORLD TO READ
(as reported on The Straits Time Interactive (Digital Life) on 9th Jan 2007):
Miss Emily Butler used to keep a pen-and-paper diary. But after her mother found it, the Arlington, Virginia, teenager started pouring out her feelings online.
'When there were days when I just needed to rant, it felt good,' said Emily, 16, a second-year student at Yorktown High School who started a blog on the site Xanga a couple of years ago.
'Once I discovered, like, posting online, it definitely became, 'Why would I write it in a book?' '
Online diaries have become a well-known phenomenon in recent years, with teenagers and young adults attracted to the genre in huge numbers.
Parents, teachers and police constantly urge young people not to reveal too much about themselves online. They warn that disclosures might be read by university admissions officers and potential employers, not to mention stalkers and paedophiles. But a review of major blogging and social-networking websites shows that online diaries remain popular for teenagers, and interviews with experts and young diarists such as Emily help explain the psychology behind going public with what used to be private thoughts.
Of course, it is hard to know how many of these diary entries represent truth, fantasy or something in between.
Ms Rochelle Gurstein, author of The Repeal Of Reticence, a book about the erosion of privacy in the United States, said the blogs seem to reflect an 'unprecedented change' in teenagers' sense of modesty.
'The teenage girl that used to be the most vulnerable, protected member of society is now unsupervised, left to her own devices, with access to the Internet, and what does she do?
'Broadcasts to the whole world to see her in her most vulnerable moments.'
Many young bloggers say they do not think people other than friends are reading their journals.
Professor Gerald Goodman, professor emeritus of psychology at the University of California at Los Angeles, said young bloggers are following a deep human impulse. 'This is practically genetic, this need to be known by another human,' he said.
Emily acknowledged that relating online provides a social buffer. But that is part of the appeal. 'Saying, like, 'Hey, do you like me?' ' she said. 'In person it would be the most awkward thing in the world.' Breaking up online is also OK, she said. Then she reconsidered: 'Breaking up online is so sixth grade. Like, by eighth grade you should at least call them.'
Teenagers and young adults are using online diaries to talk about their innermost thoughts. -- POSED PHOTO
-- The Washington Post
To clarify why I didn't post what the gal actually posted in her blog but described what I read instead. This is because whatever you post on the Net is freely accessible, anyone could have easily search out who she is.
I checked up with a counsellor friend of mine. According to him, from the counselling point of view -> It's difficult to help someone who's unwilling to be help. Been following up on her blog. She seems better now; has stopped talking about slashing herself though most of her post still revolved about her relationship woes. I guess she's just pouring her "sorrows". Not a major problem.... just that the whole world gets to read it. And if you see your name/school name up there in the blog...well well well, I won't want to think what kind of confrontation would follow.
I came across this very depressing blog. It's real, it's not made up or stuff. The writer of the blog was very depressed, upset, emotional. She's apparently giving up her boyfriend to her best friend. She's semi suicidal and she's resorting to slashing herself (at least that's what she claims in her entry) to release her "pain".
What would you do if you were me? A mere stranger who chanced upon such a blog? Can I help her? Or watch her waste away?
Please type your reply in the comments not the tagboard. Thanks.
Don't we all do it at a point or other? Well it happens to me. Misinterpretation, misunderstanding, miscommunication, mistakes. What not? Anyways, just got to do more communication to clear up the misunderstanding, miscommunication & the mistakes. Though it's a little late for Santa but I hope it's not too late for you. *winks*
Had an interesting conversation with two little gals recently (2 of them are sharing a MSN account in this converstion. The different colour represents different people)
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someone@hotmail.com says:
hi again noth to say la hahahahahaha
someone@hotmail.com says:
huh
someone@hotmail.com says:
funny face
someone@hotmail.com says:
is Miss X
someone@hotmail.com says:
she love u n admire you too!!!
someone@hotmail.com says:
no!
someone@hotmail.com says:
that one is Miss O
www.kermitkhoo.blogspot.com says:
huh???
someone@hotmail.com says:
oh my heart broken...
www.kermitkhoo.blogspot.com says:
huh??
www.kermitkhoo.blogspot.com says:
i'm confused.
www.kermitkhoo.blogspot.com says:
about???
someone@hotmail.com says:
hie hie.... Miss X love u soooo much lol
www.kermitkhoo.blogspot.com says:
???
someone@hotmail.com says:
i joking la
www.kermitkhoo.blogspot.com says:
i love all of u too!
www.kermitkhoo.blogspot.com says:
you all are my little nieces mah!
www.kermitkhoo.blogspot.com says:
BUT, it's a healthy kinship love!
someone@hotmail.com says:
oh ok ok yeah i love u!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
www.kermitkhoo.blogspot.com says:
yes yes, me too!
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Is it wrong to love/have feelings for another person of the same gender? No way??? Why should it be. I like many girls and women out there with a healthy love. Among them is my mother, sister, granny, nieces, gal friends. Am I a lesbian? Of course not! So please don't go round teasing people lesbians or gays.
Things only get distorted when say a girl like another girl beyond the normal friendship and starts fantasying about being in a special relationship with her. Or worse, having sex with one another. This is sick! Yucks.
Labels: Gal 2 Gals, relationship
Are you entering a new season of your life? Moving on to something NEW? Something you've never done before???? E.g. primary going on to secondary school OR secondary school to JC/poly OR coming out to work after years of studies?
Are you afraid? Excited? Unsure? Lost?? ---> Relax, it's normal. :)
If you feel that you had the best of times in your previous season (say pri school); trust me, the future can only get better (not worse)!!! Armed with all that you've already gain previously; you start to learn more things, make new frens, acquire new skills & grow wiser & more knowledgable! 明天会更好!!! (Translated as tommorrow is an even better day!)
Click here for lyrics
It's here again. Betcha know what! | View Show | Create Your Own
I've been trying really hard to locate The Lion King vcd. Looked in all the major video shops HMV, Borders, asked my frens, even trying on YouTube. Do you have it???? Anyone I found this really funny video. Laughed my heads off! Enjoys!!!
These are a really special bunch of gals. They have really grown since they first joined in 2004. The company faced a crisis this year due to the 5 day work week policy. The most frequently spoken sentence this year must be "Gals, officers cannot be with you all the time. It's going to be very tough but all of you can do it k" And my my, each of them have really grown to be a leader.
Take a look at the camp planned by them: Amazing Race @ Sentosa
Create Your Own!
A game we played:
It's the holidays! Being a youth worker, I have to tune in my holidays with those of the youths in school. Where I work is now a buzz of life and activity.
Where I work (as articulated by a colleague) :
On 5 Aug 2006, a cyber-wellness centre to help youths deal with issues like video game addiction through mentoring and counseling, was opened by Senior Minister of State for Law and Home Affairs Ho Peng Kee. Situated in Bukit Merah, teachers can book the centre to allow their students to experience a healthy and balanced gaming environment, under the supervision of a youth mentor. The centre aims to help youths understand why they are drawn to games, offer healthy alternatives, as well as provide mentorship through a healthy gaming environment.
Our centre has been male-dominated for the longest time but we finally had some balance when the gals came in. We started our weekly "All Gals Female Wellness" just for the ladies. Who says gals don't game. Just that they are drawn to games for different reasons. Haha.
Gals need time to warm up, ice breaker helps!
Continuation from when I first lost my voice check it out here
As of today I got 20% of my voice back. But still can't exert can feel the strain in the throat. Checked out with a doctor friend of mine. Most probably it's acute inflammation due to virus. Usually resolves within 3 weeks. Though it was actually quite fun in the start not being able to talk but it soon turn to exasperation in some occasions. But there were some good & funny stuff that came out of this as well.
**I took a cab on Friday and had to resort to typing my destination on sms to show the cab driver. When I alighted the uncle insisted on taking $10 from me though the meter was reading $10.60. I was really touched. To think that I was still hallucinating what if he drive me to some ulu place & I'm not able to shout for help. Thanks uncle though I didn't manage to see your car plate number. God bless you!
** I'm currently speaking in a whispery voice now not using my vocal cords. Previously I sounded like an orc from Lord of the Rings when I could speak a little. And to my amusement some of my gal-friends replied back in the small little whisper. Some of them really forgot. Funny!
** My mom was really worried for me before she left for holiday with my dad. She was like "You cannot talk still go to work for what!!!!" Much as I tried to hand-signal that though I lost my voice my body could still pretty much function. Anyway I did went for another check on Thursday as I was also getting worried about this sudden lost of voice. To my greatest amazement the doctor gave me 2 days MC. She said that viral infection unlike bacteria infection needs the body immune system to be strong & fight the virus so the body should rest as much as possible. Mommy's right! :p Oh my sister bought me voice gums too. So nice of her!
** And my kind colleagues who covered my duties as well.
** I wondered alot why I lost my voice without any rhyme or reason. I haven't fully understand yet. I shall keep asking I'm sure everything happens for a reason & there is no concidence! TELL ME WHY WHY WHY!
Labels: Happening Life