The Test of Time

If you want to know whether or not you're really in love, give it the test of time.
Infatuation is the name we give to that first bright burst of attraction between two people. It sets our pulses racing, and it makes us think of clouds of and fireworks, and stories that end in "happily ever after."
There's no doubt that infatuation looks and feels very much like love. The only problem is it doesn't last; it's a quick, emotional high, with no commitment behind it. And when it runs its course, we find ourselves back where we started, with little or nothing to show for the experience.
How then can we distinguish real love from temporary attraction? If the feeling is unreliable, how can we measure the commitment of the will? There's only one answer to that question: It takes time.
The best advice I can offer a couple contemplating marriage, or any other important issue, is this: Make no important life-shaping decisions quickly or impulsively. Measure your motivation carefully, and when in doubt, stall for time.
Give your emotions a chance to evolve and oscillate, If your love is real, it can handle the wait, and your relationship will be all the stornger for the seasoning of an unhurried foundation.

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Kermit: It's true. Though the wait can be unbearable sometimes but time will surely tell. My mentor told me this once which I feel was very enlightening:

There's no need to be overly concerned about romantic interest or target. Start by being a friend. At the end of the day, if nothing comes out, we still gain a friend! *lightbulbs* Let's be enjoying the friendship because friendship built will last a long time to come.

Changing Our Views of Parents

(To the lovely Ting sisters)

I'm more convinced every day that a great portion of our adult efforts are invested in the quest for that which was unreachable during childhood. The more painful the early void, the more we're motivated to fill it later in life.
For example, a friend of mine named Diane had a father who never met the needs for love and attention and belonging that a father should satisfy in his child. Even today, this man seems oblivious to the pain he's caused his daughter.
Diane used to find herself feeling disappointed and hurt and rejected each time he failed to come through. But then she learned, quite by accident, that her dad had been severly abused and wounded as a child.
His own father and mother had died when he was a boy, and the aunt to whom he was sent was so severe, she even forbade him to cry.
After hearing this account, Diane suddenly saw her father in a different light. He was not just a rejecting father, he was a man with a handicap... an emotional handicap. Diane's experience is not that unique in family life. So often, those loved ones who continually frustrate and disappoint us are reacting to deep wounds from their own formative years. If we can react compassionately to them instead of expecting them to be what they can't, we can transform our families from battlegrounds into places of harmony.

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Kermit: To the people who've asked me what this post about. If our parents are sometimes unable to provide us with the kind of love that we wish for; if they frequently quarrel though it really saddens me; if they talk about divorce though I never wish to see them apart; if they beat & scold me as if they don't love me anymore.... is it because they hate me? is it because they no longer care for the family??? Maybe the answer is NO. Perhaps when they were younger they were mistreated by someone and the only way they know how to love me is to scream & beat me.

It doesn't make sense. Yes it doesn't. That's how deep some hurts could be. Just like Diane's dad. It's not that he doesn't love his daughter or wishes to reject her. Perhaps he doesn't know how to love her because he has never really experienced love.... What he got from his so called family was just beatings, verbal abuses etc

When we are discontented with our families, maybe we can try seeing deeper beyond the surface. Dig deeper into their past and perhaps shed some light into the present.

I'm NOT addicted!!!

Guild Rules & Regulations:

1. No vulgarities

2. Always encourage and be affirming

3. No kill-stealing

I'm in a guild!!!! Yea Yea Yea! Thanks grins! Our volunteer who donated 5 million mesos to establish this guild.

See I stressed that "I'm NOT addicted!!" but I was almost drawn into it. How do you explain how a grown adult would spend her 1st $10.70 on A cash for double EXP (gaining double experience point) & spent a few precious nights busy levelling up. I've never been the gaming kind of person. The few games that I used to play when I was young were Bubble Puzzle & Brick Game. Get the point.

As I thought about it realized that the two key reasons I'm so attracted to Maple is the thrill of levelling up (It definitely helps me press on with the mundane slashing of goats & ducks & mushrooms) & playing with my friends. (Note: I already know them in my real life. Strongly discourage you from making online friends. The danger element is always there)

If an adult with all her real world responsibilites can be ALMOST addicted, how about school children who have much spare time on their hands. Think about it....

Control the game & have fun but definitely not let the game control you & rob you of real life achievements. :)

Tips to foul a stalker's plan

Read this article on the papers recently. Thought it was scary.

(Summarised version)
Sales lady Candy was stalked by a customer whom she tried selling some items to. Initially the man BB seemed harmless enough, coming by the make shift booth with 4 kids in tow - his nieces & nephews. As a sales person she was friendly & helpful naturally. They exchanged numbers upon his request.
The nightmare begins... BB started sending Candy loads of sms & persistently calling her up. When she decline to meet him, he accuses her of looking down on him due to his lack of education. Feeling bad she relented and agree to meet him once at a public place. One or two more meetings follow after that as Candy finds it difficult to reject his insistent advances. Eventually she couldn't take the repeated calls, various requests to meet up & started avoided & ignoring him. To her horrors BB found out where she stays and sent her letters of threats & even smashes glass bottles at her house - totally tramuatising Candy & her family.
Unable to cope with it any further Candy made a police report & BB was arrested. For Candy her troubles does not end here... "What would happen after he is released...It's only a few weeks...."

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A fren of mine was recently stalked as well. As I discussed with her we came up with some good-tips.
1) Share with a trusted adult
2) Be more thick skinned than the stalker - do not even entertain with any sms replies. Simply ignore all the way. Otherwise he/she may thinks that you're interested
3) Avoid being emotionally blackmailed. (See above)