17 Again

Watched an interesting movie last week. I had thought it would be some brainless teen pop movie, but I was pleasantly surprised!

Kermit's Rating: 4 out of 5 stars!!! *Heartwarming & funny all at the same time!

Storyline: About a guy whose life didn't quite turn out how he wanted it to and wishes he could go back to high school and change it. He wakes up one day and is seventeen again and gets the chance to rewrite his life.

The movie got me thinking a little. Am I like that? Am surrounded by great people, family, friends. Fufilling job, wonderful relationships etc but still complaining.

I gotta see and appreciate more of the good things in my life than focus on that one teeny weeny discomfort!

Thanks be to God!

It's the only way I can get the kids to take notice!

OMG!!! This is so funny! :)

Then again, I really empathize with parents these days. With their children on "machines" e.g. PSP, computer, DS-lite, mobile phone etc etc... It's not easy to get their attention.

Children: Your parents wants to connect with you!!

Parents: Don't give up!!! Keep on engaging your kids! Look at the cartoon, that's the extent the guy took. All because he love his kids!!! When there is a will, there is a way!!!!

A poem for our MOM!

*A mother poem I saw online*

Why are you crying, a young boy asked his Mom?
"Because I'm a woman," she told him.
"I don't understand," he said.
His Mom just hugged him and said, "And you never will, but that's O.K.".......

Later the little boy asked his father, "Why does Mom seem to cry for no reason?". "All women cry for no reason," was all his Dad could say......

The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry.

Finally he put in a call to God and when God got back to him, he asked "God, why do women cry so easily?"
GOD answered......

"When I made woman, I decided she had to be special. I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet, made her arms gentle enough to give comfort...

I gave her the inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times will come even from her own children.

I gave her a tenacity that allows her to keep going and take care of her family and friends, even when everyone else gives up, through sickness and fatigue without complaining....

I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances. Even when her child has hurt her badly....

She has the very special power to make a child's boo-boo feel better and to quell a teenager's anxieties and fears....

I gave her strength to care for her husband, despite faults and I fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart....

I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly....

For all of this hard work, I also gave her a tear to shed. It is hers to use whenever needed and it is her only weakness....

When you see her cry, tell her how much you love her, and all she does for everyone, and even though she may still cry, you will have made her heart feel better.
(My mom & I in Australia last year)
Kermit: I thank God for my mother because she showed me what patience truly means. In my most difficult of days my mom loved me. In the earlier days when my dad was the sole breadwinner & money was tight & tempers are short my mother stood by my dad & chose to endure for the sake of the whole family. I wish I can be a better daughter sometimes. Try to send her small little smses, come home for dinner & spend more time with her. What about you? Let's celebrate our mothers :) Their goodness, love & patience & simply everything!

A Mother's Love (Response)

Passerby: "nice story, how did the son respond?"

Kermit: Perhaps he never had a chance to.... May each of us live without a moment of regret.

A Mother's Love

A touching story I received from my fren

My mom only had one eye.. I hated her... She was such an embarrassment. She cooked for students & teachers to support the family. There was this one day during elementary school where my mom came to say hello to me. I was so embarrassed. How could she do this to me? I ignored her, threw her a hateful look and ran out.

The next day at school one of my classmates said, "Eeee, your mom only has one eye!" I wanted to bury myself. I also wanted my mom to just disappear. I confronted her that day and said, "If you're only gonna make me a laughing stock, why don't you just die?" My mom did not respond... I didn't even stop to think for a second about what I had said, because I was full of anger. I was oblivious to her feelings. I wanted out of that house, and have nothing to do with her. So I studied real hard, got a chance to go abroad to study.

Then, I got married. I bought a house of my own. I had kids of my own. I was happy with my life, my kids and the comforts.

Then one day, my mother came to visit me. She hadn't seen me in years and she didn't even meet her grandchildren. When she stood by the door, my children laughed at her, and I yelled at her for coming over uninvited. I screamed at her, "How dare you come to my house and scare my children! "GET OUT OF HERE! NOW!!!" And to this, my mother quietly answered, "Oh, I'm so sorry, I may have gotten the wrong address." And she disappeared out of sight.
One day, a letter regarding a school reunion came to my house. So I lied to my wife that I was going on a business trip...

After the reunion, I went to the old shack just out of curiosity. My neighbors said that she died. I did not shed a single tear. They handed me a letter that she had wanted me to have.

"My dearest son, I think of you all the time. I'm sorry that I came to your house and scared your children. I was so glad when I heard you were coming for the reunion. But I may not be able to even get out of bed to see you.
I'm sorry that I was a constant embarrassment to you when you were growing up. You see....... when you were very little, you got into an accident, and lost your eye. As a mother, I couldn't stand watching you having to grow up with one eye... So I gave you mine. I was so proud of my son who was seeing a whole new world for me, in my place, with that eye.

With all my love to you,
Your mother...

Didn't know you were married! xDDD

"WinDz: Hey, haven't visited for a longggg time . Didn't know you were married ! xDDD"

I had a minor shock then burst into laughter when I saw the tag from an ex-student! (Hey there WinDz no offence eh to use your tag as a story! I'm inspired that's all! :P)

Eventually I'll be married WinDz but currently I'm not a Mrs yet!!! :) So who are these people calling me mummy. I'm not into adoption either. keke! I've to do a bit of history digging here. These are my extremely close bunch of church mates. So close that we're "related" literally.

My friend invited me to a Christian rally years ago and there was no looking back. From someone who disliked anything related to Christians previously somehow I became more open to going church. It must be a miracle. A good miracle at that! Started attending church with Penny & that girl wanted to join a cell group! OMG she actually called church to asked how to join one. Anyway being good frens that's how I got dragged into one. *But heys Penny dear, thanks!!

In church I've a spiritual family & belong to one. My spiritual "mother" Serene is a lovely mum! I've learnt so much from her. She'll always avail herself to listen when I'm troubled. Best of all, she believed in me even when I don't myself.

From a shy, suspicious, angry, uptight person. I'm glad to say I'm much happier, more confident, learning to trust & enjoy having some lame & fun now. Thanks be to God! Who loves us & has a wonderful plan for each of our lives.

Bride wears cheongsam, groom in kilt

July 30, 2007 The Straits Times

(A mix of cultural traditions at wedding nuptials of MP Irene Ng and Graham Berry)

THE groom read a poem of love and spoke of a union that crossed continents. The bride quipped of a union that fulfilled four government policies. She is from Singapore and he is from Scotland.

The four policies their marriage covered: it is pro-family and it promotes active ageing, foreign talent and racial harmony.

Policy or poetry, the wedding of MP Irene Ng to Scot Graham Berry was a sweet, elegant affair that mixed elements of the couple's different cultural traditions.

They were married in Scotland on July 7, after a whirlwind romance. They met last August and he proposed two months later.

Yesterday, Ms Ng, 43, and Mr Berry, 62, held their marriage blessing ceremony at the Church of Singapore in Marine Parade.

The church hall was decorated with white orchids, tartan ribbons, teddy bears and organza. Music by the T'ang Quartet - the couple's favourite string ensemble in Singapore - filled the air before the service began and photos of their wedding set against the scenic Scottish highlands were screened.

Ms Ng glided in, on the arms of her father, looking radiant in a white cheongsam with a sheer kebaya-like sheath over it.

Her father, Mr Ng Soo Chye, 75, told The Sunday Times later: 'I had been hoping for this day to come. I have attended many church weddings and I would always think when it would be my turn to walk my daughter down the aisle.

'I thought I had no chance but thank God that I could walk my daughter down the aisle today.'
Beaming with pride, Mr Ng handed his daughter to Mr Berry, who was dressed in a Scottish kilt. The tartan design was from his late father's regiment when he fought in World War II.

Before guests, that included the President, Prime Minister, Cabinet ministers, MPs, family and friends, the couple also shared their love story.

They met at a reception in Edinburgh on Aug 17 hosted by Mr Berry as chief executive of the Scottish Arts Council. Ms Ng was on a three-month fellowship at the University of Edinburgh.

A day later, he asked her out for lunch purportedly to talk about 'collaborations' between their two countries, but he was really just keen to meet her, he confessed.

Love blossomed. Dates, of hikes, walks and concerts, followed. He proposed just before Ms Ng, an MP for Tampines GRC, left for home.

But she couldn't give him an answer until he visited Singapore and her Tampines GRC constituency. He did so in November, and fell in love with the country and her constituency.

Home now for him will also be Singapore. His two children, Louise, 38, and Mark, 36, from an earlier marriage, who were at the ceremony, both expressed their happiness for the couple.

Friends and family were also visibly happy for the couple, touched by their declarations of love and affection. Said labour chief Lim Swee Say: 'I'm very sure they will have a lot of happiness together.'
As the day came to a close, Mr Berry told reporters: 'The weather was good, the company was fantastic, the church was wonderful...and of course, who can ask for a more wonderful bride.'

'Dear Graham and Irene, Wishing you both many years of joy and fulfilment together!' PRIME MINISTER LEE HSIEN LOONG AND WIFE, MS HO CHING, writing in the couple's guest book before the ceremony.
'I'm very happy for Irene. I want to welcome Graham to Tampines GRC. Hopefully, we've got a new grassroots leader. They look wonderful together and we wish them a long and happy marriage.' NATIONAL DEVELOPMENT MINISTER MAH BOW TAN, who is also the anchor minister for Tampines GRC where Ms Ng is one of the MPs.
'Irene and Graham look very happy together, very much in love and we are very happy for them.' MISS PENNY LOW, MP for Pasir Ris-Punggol GRC
'The hope is always there.' MISS LOW on whether Ms Ng's marriage gives hope to single women.
'I hope it will be contagious.' MP AHMAD MOHAMAD MAGAD, interjecting Miss Low.

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Kermit: How sweet :) And it seems the parents are amongst the happiest around as they see their children settle down.

Changing Our Views of Parents

(To the lovely Ting sisters)

I'm more convinced every day that a great portion of our adult efforts are invested in the quest for that which was unreachable during childhood. The more painful the early void, the more we're motivated to fill it later in life.
For example, a friend of mine named Diane had a father who never met the needs for love and attention and belonging that a father should satisfy in his child. Even today, this man seems oblivious to the pain he's caused his daughter.
Diane used to find herself feeling disappointed and hurt and rejected each time he failed to come through. But then she learned, quite by accident, that her dad had been severly abused and wounded as a child.
His own father and mother had died when he was a boy, and the aunt to whom he was sent was so severe, she even forbade him to cry.
After hearing this account, Diane suddenly saw her father in a different light. He was not just a rejecting father, he was a man with a handicap... an emotional handicap. Diane's experience is not that unique in family life. So often, those loved ones who continually frustrate and disappoint us are reacting to deep wounds from their own formative years. If we can react compassionately to them instead of expecting them to be what they can't, we can transform our families from battlegrounds into places of harmony.

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Kermit: To the people who've asked me what this post about. If our parents are sometimes unable to provide us with the kind of love that we wish for; if they frequently quarrel though it really saddens me; if they talk about divorce though I never wish to see them apart; if they beat & scold me as if they don't love me anymore.... is it because they hate me? is it because they no longer care for the family??? Maybe the answer is NO. Perhaps when they were younger they were mistreated by someone and the only way they know how to love me is to scream & beat me.

It doesn't make sense. Yes it doesn't. That's how deep some hurts could be. Just like Diane's dad. It's not that he doesn't love his daughter or wishes to reject her. Perhaps he doesn't know how to love her because he has never really experienced love.... What he got from his so called family was just beatings, verbal abuses etc

When we are discontented with our families, maybe we can try seeing deeper beyond the surface. Dig deeper into their past and perhaps shed some light into the present.

Poor Paul Getty (Happily Married)

Amercian educator William Lyon Phelps once said: "Every man who is happily married is a successful man, even if he has failed in everything else." I certainly agree.

For many years, I lived a short drive from the J Paul Getty Museum in Southern California, which houses some of the most incredible artwork in the world. This priceless collection was just one small hobby for Getty, who was reportedly the richest man alive in his time. He ruled an enormous oil empire. When asked how much he was worth, he answered: "Several billion dollars," and then added,"...but remember a billion dollars isn't worth what it used to be."

Getty was a workaholic. He had six failed marriages and poor relationships with his sons. His wives said that they could never share a life with this man who was possessed by an all-consuming passion for business. What do you suppose J Paul Getty thought about on his death bed, in June of 1976? Here's one quote that opens a window into the soul of a very sad man. He said: "I hate and regret the failures of my marriages. I would gladly give all my millions for just one lasting martial success."

So, J Paul Getty was perhaps the poorest man who ever lived. It's my wish that we become bother richer and wiser today, by learning from his mistakes.

Kermit says:

I don't think it's about rushing into marriage. But

1) Consider marriage if your original thought is to stay single all your life (I don't want to grow old alone)

2) If you're already married. Work on it if it's not perfect. Don't invest all your time into other engergies!

Let Children Express Anger

Chances are, at least once or twice during your time as a parent, you’re going to do or say something that will make your child angry with you. Should he or she be allowed to express that emotion?
If a child grows up unable to verbally express his negative emotions toward his mother or father, he will often show it in ways that psychologists call “passive aggression” instead. He may pout, wet his bed or get bad grades in school, or perhaps even eat too much.
Usually, children aren’t aware these choices are being fuelled by anger and that they are unconscious ways of expressing accumulated hostility. So, it is important to allow your children to ventilate the irritations they’ve stored inside.
On the other hand, I firmly believe children should be taught to be respectful to their parents. It is not appropriate to permit name-calling, back-talk, sassiness and disrespect. Instead, I think it’s wise to tell children that they can say anything to us, including very negative things, as long as these things are said in a respectful manner – for example:” You’ve embarrassed me in front of my friends.” Or:” Sometimes I think you love Billy more than me.”
By following this general guideline, we’re teaching children how to deal with anger, which might come in handy with their future husbands or wives.

Flattery vs Praise

It's a good thing to praise children for the praiseworthy things they do. But is there a limit to the compliments we offer them?

Praise is essential to a child's self-esteem and the children who grow up without it typically wither like un-watered plants. But too many good words for the wrong reasons can be inflationary in nature. This is called flattery, and the essence of it is that it is unearned. It's what Grandma says when she comes for a visit, "Oh, look at my beautiful little girl! You're getting prettier everyday!" Or, "My, what a smart boy you are!" Flattery happens when you heap compliments on a child for something that he does not achieve. Praise, on the other hand, is a genuine response to good things that you child has done. To be effective, it should be highly specific. "You've been a good boy" is too general. Much better is, "I like the way you cleaned your room today!" Or, "I'm proud of the way you studied for that math assignment last night!"

Praise reinforces the child's constructive behaviour. It tells him he's done something positive and valuable, and it makes him want to repeat it. Parents should avoid sliding into empty flattery. But they should always be ready to offer genuine praise to those who deserve their commendation, and that includes every child if we're alert to the opportunities around us.

Love WITH Respect

When a child is convinced that he is greatly loved and respected by his parents, he is inclined to accept his own worth as a person. However, I’ve observed that many children know they are loved by their parents, but they reason to believe that they are not respected by them.

These seemingly contradictory attitudes are not so uncommon in human relationships. E.g a wife can love her alcoholic husband, and yet disrespect him for what he has become. Thus a child can conclude in his mind, 'Sure, they love me because I’m their child – I can see that I’m important to them – but they are not proud of me as a person. I’m a disappointment to them. I’ve let them down.'

It’s very easy to convey love and disrespect at the same time. You are tense and nervous when a child starts to speak; you interrupt and answer questions for him; you lecture her before she goes off to spend a weekend at someone else’s house; her hair is a mess and you reveal your frustration in getting it right. These are signals that you don’t trust that boy or girl with their image.

Loving your child is only half the task of building self-esteem. The element of respect must be added if you are to counterbalance the insults that society will throw at him or her.
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This is pretty cool. It's something that I've never thought about before. Hmmmm. Got me thinking. It's a fine balance to maintain.

Children Learn What They Live

Children Learn What They Live
If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn . . .
If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight . . .
If a child lives with fear, he learns to be apprehensive . . .
If a child lives with pity, he learns to feel sorry for himself . . .
If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy . . .
If a child lives with jealousy, he learns to feel guilt . . .
BUT
If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient . . .
If a child lives with encouragement, he learns to be confident . . .
If child lives with praise, he learn appreciation.
If a child lives with acceptance, he learns to love . . .
If a child lives with honesty, he learns what truth is . . .
If a child lives with fairness, he learns justice . . .
If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith in himself and those about him . . .
If a child lives with friendlienss, he learns the world is a nice place in which to live . . .
by Dorothy Law Nolte

I first saw this poem was I was in primary school and my form teacher gave me a little bookmark, for Children's Day perhaps. At that time the poem was meaningless to me. I was more of like "SO MANY WORDS" kinda attitude.
Saw this again recently and thought about the environment I grew up in and how it has shaped the kind of person I am today. Better able to appreciate it now. A meaningful poem indeed.
What is past we cannot change but the future is for us to create :)