Sexual Grooming (Getting Sex Via Sweet Talk)

The Sunday Times, September 23rd 2007

One girl tells Nur Dianah Suhaimi how she was taken in when an online 'friend' turned on his charm offensive.

When I met Jetson , I was 15 and was looking for a boyfriend online. At school, almost all my female lassmates had boyfriends. I had never even been on a date. I never had a guy come up to me asking for my number. But on the Internet, things are different. Guys come up to me because they cannot judge my looks. That was how it started with Jetson. He was 25 when we met yet we connected so well. He didn't treat me like a kid the way my parents and teachers do. When I told him my age, he asked about school. He was concerned that I was failing half my subjects and advised me to work hard. I was touched. My parents rarely paid attention to my grades.They were more concerned about my elder sister who is a straight A student.
That first time, we chatted for five hours - from 10pm until 3am. He was smart, funny and kind. He gave me a cute pet name. Before we ended the chat, he said to me: 'I think you're a very interesting girl. You must be beautiful too. The boys in your school must be stupid not to be your boyfriend. 'I was flattered. Nobody had called me beautiful before. Then he asked me out.'I must see what you look like,' he said.
Two days later, on a Saturday afternoon, we met outside Orchard MRT station. I was a little disappointed when I saw him. He was short, skinny and had many pimples. He wore jeans with a white polo tee. But he was as nice to me as he was online. We had lunch at Burger King which he paid for. We then went window shopping and he held my hand. I felt happy and proud. Proud because a 25-year-old guy who was mature and nice was holding my hand.
He was very gentlemanly. He kept asking if I felt tired and if I needed a drink.When I spoke, he'd put his face close to mine and listen intently. Before we parted at the train station, he gave me a long kiss on the lips. My heartwas beating so fast. It was my first kiss. We went out again the next week. Again, he kissed me.
On the third date, Jetson suggested we go to his flat in Bukit Batok. He lived with his parents but they were at work. (Kermit - this guy could be a bum living off his parents! No wonder so much free time!) At his place, he kissed me many times as we watched TV in the living room. There was heavy petting. After that date, Jetson asked me to be his girlfriend. I was already falling in love with him so I agreed. All our dates after that were spent at his flat. Without fail, there'd be heavy petting. I'd go to his place as often as three times a week, mostly after school becausethat was when his parents were not home.
Each time, Jetson would ask me for sex but I said no. I was afraid of getting pregnant. He'd get upset and tell me he was so close to his ex-girlfriend becausethey had sex. This would make me angry and jealous.
About two months later, I revisited the chatroom where I had met Jetson andfound out that he was still chatting. I became suspicious and decided to chat withhim using a different nickname.
I was shocked. He used the same tricks that he had earlier used on me. He gave me a pet name and said I was beautiful. He also asked me out. I realised that I had been used by this pervert. I called him on the phone and broke up with him. He didn't even explain himself; he just kept quiet.I never saw Jetson again. I also stopped chatting. I'm now 17 and still do not have a boyfriend but that's okay. I don't want to risk being used as a sex object again.