Haven't blog for soooooo long due to my busy schedule. Finally can set my thoughts down to share.
I'm doing something new recently -> to learn to do new things. Complicated???!!
I tend to stay in the familiar and comfortable zones of my life. Being in unfamiliar zones scares me.
This year's challenge for myself is do new things!!! I'm scared but excited too. Sometimes the feelings of excitment exceeds that of fear but on other days .....
One new thing I did recently was to upgrade my trusted lovely Nokia phone 6510 to a PDA phone. It's a hearty four years old!
Still learning to figure out the features. Within eight days if i can find any problem it's an exchange for a new set.
I started reading my emails & talking on MSN once with my phone. Pretty slow as I'm not used to the small screen and typing etc. But the feeling roxxxxxx BIG TIME!
When a child is convinced that he is greatly loved and respected by his parents, he is inclined to accept his own worth as a person. However, I’ve observed that many children know they are loved by their parents, but they reason to believe that they are not respected by them.
These seemingly contradictory attitudes are not so uncommon in human relationships. E.g a wife can love her alcoholic husband, and yet disrespect him for what he has become. Thus a child can conclude in his mind, 'Sure, they love me because I’m their child – I can see that I’m important to them – but they are not proud of me as a person. I’m a disappointment to them. I’ve let them down.'
It’s very easy to convey love and disrespect at the same time. You are tense and nervous when a child starts to speak; you interrupt and answer questions for him; you lecture her before she goes off to spend a weekend at someone else’s house; her hair is a mess and you reveal your frustration in getting it right. These are signals that you don’t trust that boy or girl with their image.
Loving your child is only half the task of building self-esteem. The element of respect must be added if you are to counterbalance the insults that society will throw at him or her.
****~~~~****~~~~****~~~****~~~~****~~~~
This is pretty cool. It's something that I've never thought about before. Hmmmm. Got me thinking. It's a fine balance to maintain.
But one day... just be prepared.... one fine day the volcano will still explode cause it's full!!! :(
****~~~~****~~~~****~~~~****~~~~****~~~~****~~~~****~~~~
Won't you like to prevent a volcano's continuous eruption? Eruption is not good. It's destructive to others & self.
Whenever I erupt. I would feel very very guilty after that. I'll just share something which I've learnt before. It's known as A, B, C. (It's a thought process that guide you step by step to better understand yourself)
Activating event
- Scolded by mother
Consequences/Consequential action
- Bang the door as I go out to show my unhappiness at being scolded
Belief system
- My mom doesn't love me
Basically because of my belief system (mother don't love me) I banged the door as an act of protest. Since she doesn't love me I bang the door she also won't care what.
In actual fact this couldn't be further away from the truth. I remember that I felt guilty after that and called home to apologize after much deliberation. She sounded really sad & said that "sorry" very easy to say but it's difficult to recover from the hurt inside.
My perception of my mom was incorrect. She loves me. She loves me enough to feel hurt by my actions.
Thank God that was years back & things has improved.
****~~~~****~~~~****~~~~****~~~~****~~~~****~~~~****~~~~
Many times people jump from A -> C-> B. But A -> B-> C is really the way to go. If we could pause a little longer to think and ask ourself what's our belief system (B) is. Then we will be able to manage our consequential actions & feelings (C) better. In my case if I know that my mom loves me then I probably would not have banged the door knowing that it will sadden her. The plus point is we probably will end up a happier person as well. :)
I'm sorry this turned out to be a complicated posting. Are you confused by all the words???? Leave me a comment perhaps & we can discuss further.