(Defining) Female Wellness

No child's play

2010-02-02T15:18:00.003+08:00

(Specially for my Dunman students)

Lack of parental support and academic guidance did not stop Jason Chionh from realising his dreams.

IT WAS his teacher who inspired Jason Chionh to pursue a career in video games, but not in the way you would expect.

While doing his final-year Computer Science project at Victoria Junior College, Jason was discouraged from proposing a games-related one. According to his teacher, his design could 'never compete' with the commercial games that are in the market.

'I didn't do a games project but it got me thinking that maybe I can do something in the future,' recalls the 33-year-old, who grew up playing Wing Commander, Monkey Island and Ultima role-playing PC games.

After receiving a computer science degree from the National University of Singapore (NUS), he followed it up with a Master of Science, all the while dreaming of entering the fledgling game industry.

'There were no game-related studies but I knew what I wanted to do and was prepared to move overseas if I had to.'

There was also the fantasy of creating his own game with a few friends, if no one would hire him.

All this while, he kept his aspirations from his family and friends, knowing that job opportunities were scant, with gaming still considered mere child's play.

In 2002, he applied through the Economic Development Board job attachment program to work with noted Japanese games company Koei but was not selected.

He found a job as a full-time teaching assistant at NUS and tried again the following year. This time, he was accepted by Sega, another noted Japanese games developer and publisher, and went on an 18-month stint.

What he found really useful was the on-the-job training and experience he gained from working on console games.

One title he worked on was Altered Beast for the Sony PlayStation 2 console.

He worked on all the programming aspects for implementing the fight scenario, the artificial intelligence behaviour of the boss character, the visual effects and the sound and animation of the characters, to name a few.

Upon returning home, he took on a job with G-Gadget, a local start-up working on games for the Nintendo DS-Lite platform.

His parents, however, did not like his job because they felt that game piracy limited any possible success in the industry.

Things took a positive turn when industry giant Lucasfilm of Star Wars fame announced that it was setting up an animation and games arm here.

Jason successfully applied to Lucasfilm Animation Singapore and soon found himself surrounded by his childhood movie and game heroes, from the Jedi masters, Indiana Jones to Guybrush Threepwood.

'I heard they were hiring and you don't question yourself if you want to join Lucasfilm,' he said.

As a games software engineer, he is currently working on several unannounced game projects. He already has one title under his belt - last year's Jedi Alliance game for the DS Lite.

His involvement in this game was more extensive, as he worked on programming both the engine for the game and the game systems, including the sound, visual effects and combat systems.

His parents have also come around and accepted his chosen profession.

For Jason, his long-time dream lives on. Although he is part of a large team working on several games, he still wants to create his own video game one day.

To turn that dream into reality, he realises it is going to take more hard work at Lucasfilm.

'What I find most valuable is to be able to work with a very talented pool of people here. We are able to openly discuss ideas and bounce these ideas off one another,' he said.

'Because of this, I have learnt a lot and I feel there is so much more that I can learn.'

Source: http://www.straitstimes.com/vgn-ext-templating/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=c6ad31f5ae830210VgnVCM100000430a0a0aRCRD&vgnextchannel=d884758920e39010VgnVCM1000000a35010aRCRD

Hey Apple!

2010-01-20T00:35:00.005+08:00

Enjoy a good, lame laugh after a long hard day at work! :) By the way, I do enjoy high level lame jokes. Ahahhahs!

Straight faced people have fun too

2010-01-02T16:18:00.005+08:00

Straight faced people love to have fun too! *winks* More often than not I've been commented as "serious", straight-faced" but well! If you know me well enough....or when I'm tired enough....that's when...

I Love my iPHONE!

2009-10-25T21:57:00.004+08:00

Face it!!! I'm converted! I love my new phone!

1) It's coolz

2) It enables me to be connected to the latest news. (I can finally read the papers regularly with this new power phone. No more complains of not being able to sit down & read the papers cuz I need to rush out of the house

3) Some of the iPhone apps are really useful and fun. E.g. TransGuide, Dictionary, Bejeweled2 etc

But then again, there are also downside and dangers with such a power phone.

A) Parents don't blur blur just get the phone for your kids. Some of the apps are adult-content and not suitable for children. *shake head*

B) My new Singtel plan is TOTALLY EXPENSIVE....................SOBS....................... 1st bill is already a shocking $112...

So there are always pros and cons. Do your research first before jumping in to the iPhone craze!!!!

Wedding Entrance Dance

2009-07-29T08:39:00.003+08:00

Helpers beware! :D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-94JhLEiN0

*Had a good laugh over it!

Singapore won't repeal homosexual law

2009-07-18T13:32:00.005+08:00

Singapore won't repeal homosexual law

By Hoe Yeen Nie, Channel NewsAsia Posted: 05 July 2009

SINGAPORE: Law Minister K Shanmugam has said Singapore will not decriminalise gay sex but the courts have the power to decide how the law, Section 377, is applied. Section 377A of the Penal Code deems sex between men a crime.

A recent ruling by the New Delhi High Court legalising gay sex between consenting adults in India raised questions on whether Singapore might go the same way. Both countries share the same Penal Code, inherited from the colonial British.

In a dialogue with Punggol residents on Sunday, Mr Shanmugam said Section 377 will remain as homosexuality is still not accepted by most Singaporeans.

He said: "We have the law. We say it won't be enforced. Is it totally clear? We, sometimes in these things, have to accept a bit of messiness. And the way the society is going, we don't think it's fair for us to prosecute people who say that they are homosexual."

But he said that while the government will not take the lead in repealing the law, the legal courts in Singapore have the power to decide how Section 377 is interpreted and applied.

Mr Shanmugam, who is also the Second Minister for Home Affairs, said the government will play a more active role in other areas, such as creating ways for new citizens and Permanent Residents to interact with the community.

- CNA/ir

Bye Michael

2009-07-10T19:25:00.003+08:00

What do you want to be remember for after you die?

Michael was indeed a pop icon that was widely remember for his contribution to music & pop. Though there were many "not so nice news" of him in recent years but there are many more good things to remember him by ya.

"Black Or White"
I Took My Baby On A Saturday Bang
Boy Is That Girl With You
Yes We're One And The Same

Now I Believe In Miracles
And A Miracle Has Happened Tonight

But, If You're Thinkin' About My Baby
It Don't Matter If You're Black Or White

They Print My Message In The Saturday Sun
I Had To Tell Them I Ain't Second To None

And I Told About Equality
An It's True
Either You're Wrong Or You're Right

But, If You're Thinkin' About My Baby
It Don't Matter If You're Black Or White

I Am Tired Of This Devil
I Am Tired Of This Stuff
I Am Tired Of This Business
Sew When The
Going Gets Rough
I Ain't Scared Of Your Brother
I Ain't Scared Of No Sheets
I Ain't Scare Of Nobody
Girl When The Goin' Gets Mean

[L. T. B. Rap Performance]
Protection For Gangs, Clubs And Nations
Causing Grief In Human Relations
It's A Turf War On A Global Scale
I'd Rather Hear Both Sides Of The Tale
See, It's Not About Races
Just Places Faces, Where Your Blood Comes From
Is Where Your Space Is, I've Seen The Bright
Get Duller
I'm Not Going To Spend My Life Being A Color

[Michael]
Don't Tell Me You Agree With Me
When I Saw You Kicking Dirt In My Eye

But, If You're Thinkin' About My Baby
It Don't Matter If You're Black Or White

Who Killed Kermit!!?!

2009-06-09T16:13:00.008+08:00

First celebrity swine flu (H1N1) fatality!!!

And do you know who gave it to him?
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The Vendor Client relationship - in real world situations

2009-06-04T15:27:00.002+08:00

This is hilarious! People who want it all yet so GIAM!!! Thanks to JW for the link! :)

Hooray for S'pore women!

2009-05-21T11:40:00.005+08:00

http://www.asiaone.com/News/AsiaOne%2BNews/Singapore/Story/A1Story20090521-142853.html

AS DAWN broke over the Himalayas yesterday, three tired Singaporean women stepped on top of the world - and into the pages of Singapore's history books.

Natas Singapore Women's Everest Team members, pharmaceutical- product specialist Lee Li Hui, 27, copywriter Esther Tan, 26, and studentdevelopment officer Jane Lee, 25, were part of an international group which reached the top of Mount Everest between 3.45am and 4.53am yesterday, Nepal time (6am and 7.08am Singapore time).

The trio are the first Singapore women to reach the summit of the world's tallest peak, at 8,848m.

The three women who reached the summit are making their way down and are expected to reach Base Camp in two to three days. The team's initial push for the summit last week was foiled by bad weather.

The team then split into two so that they could have a higher chance of success.

Singaporeans my paper spoke to were proud about the women's achievement.

Over 10 posts on the team's Facebook page yesterday included comments like: "You are an inspiration to all of us" and "Well done for flying that flag for us!"

Youth worker Ian Wong, 32, told my paper: "It's a remarkable feat. Such displays of passion by Singaporeans are rare and worthy of celebration."

Lifestyle-programmes executive Gracie Ngoi, 26, who is also a friend of the team members, said: "It's very empowering for Singapore women. They show that we women are capable of achieving great things."

Fast Eaters GET FAT (dedicated to Jo)

2009-05-10T22:07:00.006+08:00

(Taken from Reader's Digest Feb 2009 issue)

Eating slowly can help you slim down!

A study of more than 3000 Japanese adults published in the British Medical Journal found that those who ate their meals quickly were about twice as likely to be obese as their slow-munching counterparts.

People who ate quickly and who ate until they were full were three times more likely to be obese. The research supports previous evidence that people tend to consume more calories when they eat quickly, but also that eating quickly is linked to obesity regardless of how many calories are eaten.

Dr Elizabeth, an obesity expert from the University of New South Wales says research suggests people can lean to eat more slowly and recognise their internal cues for fullness.

Slowing your rate of eating allow your body to send fullness signals before you've overeaten.

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Kermit: It's true. When I was still in the university I had to feel that I'm FULL then I'll stop eating. That would mean I need a snack e.g. curry puff/ snack after my meal. Not surprising that I was at my heaviest during my university years.

Now I'm older and wiser. I just need to be QUITE FULL, I'll stop eating. As such I won't overeat & I can still nibble when I'm hungry. It's good practice because I won't feel SOOOOO sleepy after meal at work.

17 Again

2009-04-27T18:11:00.002+08:00

Watched an interesting movie last week. I had thought it would be some brainless teen pop movie, but I was pleasantly surprised!

Kermit's Rating: 4 out of 5 stars!!! *Heartwarming & funny all at the same time!

Storyline: About a guy whose life didn't quite turn out how he wanted it to and wishes he could go back to high school and change it. He wakes up one day and is seventeen again and gets the chance to rewrite his life.

The movie got me thinking a little. Am I like that? Am surrounded by great people, family, friends. Fufilling job, wonderful relationships etc but still complaining.

I gotta see and appreciate more of the good things in my life than focus on that one teeny weeny discomfort!

Thanks be to God!

It's the only way I can get the kids to take notice!

2009-04-18T17:24:00.003+08:00

OMG!!! This is so funny! :)

Then again, I really empathize with parents these days. With their children on "machines" e.g. PSP, computer, DS-lite, mobile phone etc etc... It's not easy to get their attention.

Children: Your parents wants to connect with you!!

Parents: Don't give up!!! Keep on engaging your kids! Look at the cartoon, that's the extent the guy took. All because he love his kids!!! When there is a will, there is a way!!!!

Storm Signals

2009-02-22T23:13:00.003+08:00

Was reading something by Gordon MacDonald in "When Men Think Private Thoughts" & this portion I read was very meaningful & doesn't seem like something exclusive to guys so I'm going to share a little here. Hope it benefits you as it did me!

What Storm Signals Means (Alarm bells within self that signals trouble is brewing - do a check for yourself here)
1) Moods
- Watch out for bursts of anger, prolonged bouts of sadness & continuing feelings of irritation that goes beyond the normal.
- Are you overcome with intense sadness? Are you able to celebrate with someone in his success? Why do you see gloom & bleakness in every possibility?
- It would be good to reflect upon your changing moods & what they really mean. And it would have been the right moment for a courageous fren to step in & question you & your abnormal moods & behaviour.

2) Predominant thoughts
- Thoughts that are almost always out of control. Thoughts that emerge without warning.
- Why are these uninvited thoughts growing in frequency & variety? What is the underlying message?

3) A change in key relationships
- If I find myself jealous of other peoples whose fortunes have advanced beyond my own, if I begin to think of people competitively as better than or not as good as I am, etc etc, I am getting some fairly strong signals that something in my soul has gone sour...

4) Defensiveness
-We're dealing with storm signals when we react to difficult moments with defensiveness, complaining, or whining.
- I'm defensive when I resist any attempts to evaluate my work or my life - performance. I refuse to listen, to consider that anyone might offer a different outlook on what I'm doing or becoming. Thus, I become angry or make excuses or try to deflect the blame to someone else.
- Difficulty in listening to difficult news about self. You want to give one excuse after another. You spend more time trying to explain yourself than you do listening & asking where the point of truth might be. 5) Sleeplessness

- You're probably getting a storm signal when the body cries for sleep but the mind doesn't permit it to happen. It's time to ask why!

- If the quiet messages of the soul are resisted in the daytime hours, it is not unusual that the soul will speak more persistently in the night time.

Taking the time, the effort, the opening of the ear & eye to hear & watch the stomr signals that send their messages to us that something is wrong, that something needs correction, that something needs assistance. In so doing the hurricanes are tamed, & life goes on in greater fullness & maturity. ~ Gordon MacDonald

My latest toy

2009-02-15T21:27:00.004+08:00

"The Samsung YP-S3 weighs under 2 ounces and measure 1.7 by 3.7 by 0.4 inches. The controls on the front of the player are backlit, touch-sensitive buttons that seem to disappear when not in use, an effect that Samsung has used before on some players but that's particularly cool here. The typical navigation arrows and Play/Pause/Enter button are complemented by a control that takes you back to the previous menu and the extra features button for various options, depending upon the menu you're navigating."

My big problem is I tend to tune the volume up to the "near max" sometimes. Not very healthy la.

It's coolz to have music to chill out now and then,. But I need to remind myself not to be a social recluse at the expense of enjoying music. In office, there are many times I didn't hear my colleagues calling me or saying goodbye as the phones are plugged in. Sorry, I'll remember to tune it down .....unless I'm really really REALLY STRESSED!!!! :)

Fooled by what we "see"!

2009-01-03T00:55:00.005+08:00

Don't let the world define for you what is beauty. What you see to be real is really just a lie. "Fooled by what we "see"!

At the end of the day, be true to yourself. And not blindly follow what the world brainwashes you to believe. Else we'll end up just a sad final product of advertising lies.

Proverbs 31:30 (Contemporary English Version)
Charm can be deceiving, and beauty fades away, but a woman who honors the LORD deserves to be praised.

Merry & Blessed Christmas!

2008-12-22T17:06:00.000+08:00

Merry & Blessed Christmas!

I sure miss you alot!

2008-12-19T10:51:00.000+08:00

A whole new world

2008-12-08T16:22:00.000+08:00

Prissy showed me this & I was really really wow by it! I'm really surprised at how wide a guy vocals can be stretched. My good fren ah fren jie also told me about this conductor that she saw in Penang who could hit various ranges!!!

Man....it's amazing! You gotta hear it to believe it! :)

I'm back!

2008-11-29T00:10:00.000+08:00

Kermit is finally back!!!
Hetic days at work, a CCA camp, a church camp, a personal holiday!!!

I'm back to more writings!!! :)

I'm planning to start a book review blog soon perhaps. What ya think???

More than frens

2008-11-02T22:16:00.002+08:00

Over two weekends I got to know a bunch of pplz better. Hey pplz, I actually enjoy spending time with u! :P But sometimes kinda caught up at work.... here's a post dedicated to u all!

Kermit is absolutely sure she wish to abide by cyber wellness practices.... so she's gonna apply some practical tips here.

Tip 1: Don't leave revealing info that allow others to track you

*See their eyes are hidden. Ahahhas

Tip 2: If you absolutely wish to upload pictures.... Use pictures without your frens in their school uniform

*See it's home clothes. And the picture is downsize so you cannot really really see their handsome & pretty faces well enough to track them. Ahahhas again

Back row from left: BubbleTeaMan, Joker, Gorgeous

Front row from left: FurList, EverSmart, LaLa, Kindheart

Tip 3: Use a neutral nickname that doesn't reveal your gender & age. Kermit had a fren with a really unique name that was tracked down by a pervert via Frenster simply by searching her name!!!! Horrors!

The back row nicknames were given by the "younger" pplz.

Tip 4: Downsize the picture!

Put it this way....No weirdo would want to transfer a small head unto a normal size naked body right! So it's a simple smart tip. Especially if you're gorgeous!!! :P

Thanks for the wonderful partnership & memories!

What Char Siew Rice taught me (Part 2)

2008-10-27T20:23:00.001+08:00

Remember to scroll down & read from (Part 1) first!

Kermit: Simply translated-> Be bold to try & experiment, if you don't like, at least you walk away more experienced! Don't scared k!

What Char Siew Rice taught me (Part 1)

2008-10-27T19:45:00.000+08:00

For you

2008-10-19T23:40:00.002+08:00

*wink wink*

Don't mess with women

2008-10-18T23:22:00.000+08:00

Reference from The Straits Time (online) 17 Oct 2008

LUCKNOW (India) - A WOMAN chopped the head off a man who allegedly tried to attack her and then paraded the head through a market in northern India, police said Friday.

Police arrested the woman late on Thursday after receiving calls from frightened witnesses who reported a blood-soaked woman holding a severed head was walking through the village.

The woman, 35, told police she had gone to a nearby forest to cut grass for fodder for her cattle when a man attacked her from behind.

'In a bid to save her dignity she beheaded him with a sickle,' Officer Bharose said, adding that the woman had bite marks on her neck and cheek.

The woman also told police that the man had been harassing and stalking her for three months and she had no regrets about killing him, he said, adding that she would probably be charged with culpable homicide.

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Kermit: Don't mess with women.... (On a serious note, she was desperate and did it out of self defence. Sigh....)

I'm NOT nose droppings!

2008-10-06T23:25:00.001+08:00

(Picture taken with permission from historymaker. Check out his fabulous blog at www.historymaker20736.blogspot.com)

Caller : Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan (anyone)?
Operator : Yes, you can speak to me.
Caller : No, I want to speak to Annie Wan (anyone)!
Operator : You are talking to someone! Who is this?
Caller : I'm Sam Wan (Someone). And I need to talk to Annie Wan (anyone)! It's urgent.
Operator : I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what's this urgent matter about?
Caller : Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan (anyone) that our brother Noel Wan (no one)has involved in an accident. Noel Wan (no one)got injured and now Noel Wan (no one) is being sent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan (everyone) is on his way to the hospital.
Operator : Look if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't have time for this!
Caller : You are so rude! Who are you?
Operator : I'm Saw Lee (Sorry).
Caller : Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!!!======================================================
Choosing the right name is important!
Anne Chang => Dirty (Mandarin)
Anne Chin => Keep Quiet (Mandarin)
Faye Chen => Dusty (Mandarin)
Lucy Leow => You are dead (Hokkien)
Jane Tan => Frying eggs (Mandarin)
Suzie Leow => Lose till death (Hokkien)
Henry Mah => Hate your mum (Mandarin)
Corrine Tai => Poor fellow (Hokkien)
Paul Chan => Bankrupt (Mandarin)
Nelson Tan => Bird laying eggs (Mandarin)
Leslie Tong => Rubbish Bin (Mandarin)
Carmen Teng => Leg hair long (Hokkien)
Connie Mah => Call your mother (Cantonese)
Danny See => Squeeze you to death (Hokkien)
Rosie Teng => Screws and nails (Hokkien)
Pete Tsai => Nose droppings (Hokkien) [this is the one that tickled me most!!!!]
Macy Koh => Never die before (Cantonese)

**I think it's kinda funny! :) Do choose your kids names properly!
Btw Cynthia means "Reflector of Light"!!!

I am dying

2008-09-29T22:03:00.002+08:00

I AM DYING.....

It's not too far to say that when you are hopeless, in despair, depressed.... Hopelessness Kills.

Quoting something which a wonderful friend smsed me:
"If we come to think or feel that we have nothing to hope for and can only expect things to get worse in the future, invevitably we grow depressed and to a certain degree, desperate... We may try to hide our condition, but the unfocused rage, fury and hatred of life that we feel, work like acid....dissolving all other feelings into purest bitterness.

Hopelessness is at the root of many of today's psychological disorders.... Our sense of self worth dissolves into self doubt, self-distrust and self-dislike; confidence is swallowed up in despair. (J.I.Packer)"

How scary. Hopelessness kills one softly... if you allow it. But I found a cure for it. H*O*P*E. Hope it perks you up again as it did me :)

What a Friend We Have In Jesus
What a friend we have in Jesus,
All our sins and griefs to bear.
What a privilege to carry, everything to God in prayer.
Oh, what peace we often forfeit. Oh, what needless pain we bear,
All because we do not carry, Everything to God in prayer.
Have we trials and temptations?
Is there trouble anywhere?
We should never be discouraged, take it to the Lord in prayer.
Can we find a friend so faithful,
Who will all our sorrows share?
Jesus knows our every weakness;
Take it to the Lord in prayer.

When we come to the end of ourselves....perhaps that's truly when God can begin a NEW work in us.

John 12:24-26 I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life.

Date Rape (Part II)

2008-09-23T23:18:00.000+08:00

After reading my post on date rape my wonderful malaysian joker (fren) shocked me with the update that there is worse drugs out there. They don't even spike your drink, just paste a celotape drug (think something like hansaplast) & you're GONE!!!!

Check out his original posting here. Or read my summarised version:

A friend and blogofluencer of mine recently blogged about some date rape drugs using a common drug family called Benzodiazepines, which are basically sedative drugs (KO drugs). Rohypnol is probably the most commonly used ones for spiking drinks.

But the latest news I've heard as an ex-raver and shuffler, is that there have been incidences of date rapes using this drug known as Scopolamine. Rohypnol is usually a small pill or powder or something foreign that's dumped into your drink.

So why is Scopolamine scary?

It's a drug in the form of a transdermal patch. Which means epidermical transfer. Which means the drug comes in the form of some small kinda celotape, they walk by you, brush your arm or something (whilst conveniently sticking the drug on your arm), and next thing you know, you wake up not knowing anything.

All date rape drugs induce anterograde amnesia, which is a cricitcal factor in date rapes because you wake up not having the foggiest idea of what happened. Scopolamine is scary because it's so hard to spot, usually a laced celotape or something. Rohypnol or other Benzo's are easier to spot because they come in pills or powders.

A friend of mine over msn just commented that the drug would take time to settle in. I agree. This makes Scopolamines all the more dangerous, because you would meet more people whilst waiting for the drug to settle in. Which means you'll be less likely to remember who your assailant was. o.O

So when you think clubbing or raving is cool and all that, make sure you know and understand and keep a look out for impending dangers. I've been in countless of situations where I've had to go and bail friends outta trouble because they were targets of psychos and perverts. One of the best things you can have is someone 113% reliable to count on. Especially in these cases.

But let me push this point further by saying abstain from clubbing. Save yourself the trouble (and others). Sure, an experience is an experience. But to be hooked onto the scene? You gotta be flogging me. There's so much I could say here, but the point is that... is it worth the danger you could possibly be getting into?

There's hundreds of scenarios. Fights, rapes, drugs, molest, filming, stalking, murder, robbery, etc. Even with the most reliable person on earth, you can still get into trouble. Especially when it comes hunting for you. Sure it's a big challenge, but only real people, with real fighting spirits will stand up for principles.

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Kermit: My contribution is really to HIGHLIGHT and WARN you innocent pplz out there that such drugs are around. So do be more more more and MORE careful when you're out! Don't assume that you're counscious and awake and can take care of yourself well. The pplz on the dark side is sometimes more sneaky, advanced, unscrupulous than we think.....

Who else know your panties colour?

2008-09-19T00:14:00.001+08:00

I thought this is a wonderful post from EJ. Hey girls enough of me telling you all the time about short skirts and stuff....Hear it from a man himself!

A month ago, I had a rather traumatizing encounter while shopping at a shopping mall. This incident happened while I was traveling up on the escalator. Sited ahead of me, next to the step out point from the escalator, there was a shop brandished with perfumes and cosmetic products. What shocked me at that particular point was that one of the salesgirl, back facing the store entrance and wearing a mini flair skirt, was climbing up on a ladder and stocking up products in the cabinet. She was totally oblivious to the fact that in that position, she was going to almost let everyone around have a free upskirt show!

It didn't need to take supersonic senses for me to understand what was coming next if I were to continue staring for another 10 seconds. Instantaneously as this salesgirl started her climb up the ladder, I immediately turned my eyes away to look elsewhere. Phew! A huge sigh of relief.... (I will explain my point later in this post. Read on.)

Traumatized enough, I wasn't prepare to stay around to spot the "Ti-Ko-Pek"s whom may be drooling at this free view nor see if there were anyone whom would go and get this salesgirl down from the ladder. I zipped off to the next level and carried on with my shopping.

Gosh! What has happened to the dressing culture of the teenage girls of today? Aren't they worried of over (or indecent) exposure when they wear such short flair kind of skirts? Honestly, I have nothing against girls wearing skirt, but I just feel strongly that there's got to be a limit to how far this can go. There has been enough horror stories of molest cases and people using handphone cameras to capture upskirt pictures. I seriously think girls can go one step further to protect themselves by giving their mini-skirts a bit more cloth-lengthening.

To the Girls: Yes, you do have the free-will to wear anything you like. Yes, guys should learn to be more self-controlled and not have wandering eyes. But the truth is that you will do yourselves and the guys a huge favor by re-considering your approach the next time you want to wear those short skirts. You can take active measures to protect yourselves. Example: If you are wearing those mini-skirts, do use you handbags to block or get a friend to stand behind you while you travel up the escalators. and for goodness sake, girls please do not climb ladders when you are wearing skirts. I am sure there are plenty of gentlemen around whom can lend their muscles to help you. Honestly, we guys are all visually stimulated, that slight upskirt/buttline/over-fleshy exposure will trigger a lot of reaction through our mind.

Having said this, Girls, you do not need to wrap yourselves up like a dumpling. Either opt for longer length skirts or learn to take proper preventive measures. I am certain beauty and proper cover up can co-exist.

To the Guys: Now, be truthful and do not just bluntly shift all the blames to the girls. Let's also learn to exercise self-control and respect the ladies. Be alert at ALL times! And learn to turn your eyes away when you expect some of these exposure may come. If you have a girlfriend, learn to share this with your girlfriend and ask her to help give you warning signals! And sometimes if by accident you do catch a glimpse, just turn away and walk off. DO NOT allow yourself to be glued!

Some of you may say, "Wah.. but free show mah, why don't see? Anyway it's not harmful mah!" WRONG! Honestly, how is staring at upskirts of ladies different from watching pornography???? The end results and effects are the same - our values and moral standards towards sexuality becomes eroded! And some may end up becoming perverts whom take upskirt photos as their secret obsession!
So guys, be alert and stay clear!!!

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Kermit: Okies I shall come up with my gals version soon :)

Top model is 'raped after drink is spiked'

2008-09-15T21:28:00.001+08:00

'Date rape': The incident allegedly occurred at Whisky Mist club at the Hilton Hotel in Park Lane.

Police are investigating the alleged rape of a model who believes her drink was spiked at a Park Lane nightclub popular with young royals.

The 18-year-old says she felt dizzy and disorientated and was led down to the cellar area of the Whisky Mist club at the Hilton Hotel where the attack took place.

She claims a 23-year-old man she had met previously at the club gave her the Rohypnol-style 'date rape' drug before sexually assaulting her.

She went to the police the next day and the man was arrested later that day by officers. He was bailed to return later this month pending further enquiries.

The model, who is a regular at top designers' shows in London, New York, Milan and Paris, said the alleged rape happened when she went to the club last Wednesday evening.

A close friend said: 'She was having a drink at the bar and enjoying herself. She was also given a drink by the guy she says went on to rape her. Then she suddenly felt dizzy and disorientated.

'She has a hazy memory of what happened but is convinced she was spiked with some kind of drug.

'After that, she remembers coming upstairs in the club and realising something dreadful had
happened.'
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Kermit's Thoughts: For all those out there who claims that they can hold their drinks & won't get drunk.... Well think twice... TREASURE YOURSELF!
1) Clubbing is expensive. (buy drinks + cab fare home)
2) For the innocent young gals out there "HEY THERE IS DATE RAPE DRUG OUT THERE OK!"
3) Never go off to the washroom/turn your back to drink the same cup of drink! - Practical tip
4) Going with trusted frens is also not a foolproof plan. Simply because they may get themselves drunk silly & can't even take care of themselves....let alone another person.

Eight Crazy Email Hoaxes Millions Have Fallen For

2008-08-26T19:50:00.002+08:00

Taken from http://tech.msn.com/products/articlepcw.aspx?cp-documentid=9637938

by Nick Mediati and Anne B. McDonald, PC World

E-mail fills our in-boxes with come-ons to see celebrities naked and to get rich quick. Even though we know deep down that these are fakes, why do we continue to think, 'Maybe?'

Congratulations, you won the lottery in a country whose name you can't even pronounce! A wealthy oil executive in a far-off land wants to give you millions of dollars, right now! Sexy girls want to meet you!

Now let's be honest. If someone came to your door and told you any of those things, you'd tell him to get lost. So why do people still fall for this stuff when it's in their e-mail, as if a poorly written message made a weird-sounding pitch any more legitimate?

The saddest part is, the only reason annoying e-mail keeps filing your inbox is because it works.

No matter the number of reports detailing e-mail hoaxes gone bad and tales of spammers taking people for all they're worth, people just keep on clicking.

Why? It's the law of percentages. The response rate for snail-mail spam is between 0.5 and 1 percent. That might not sound like a lot, but if you apply it to e-mail, it means a spammer can send 1 million messages -- without the cost of paper and postage -- and 5,000 to 10,000 people will answer. In fact, a study out this month indicates that nearly 30 percent of Internet users confessed to purchasing something from the Internet.

Here's PC World's list, in no particular order, of the top e-mail hoaxes that have come through inboxes and fooled millions.

1) Raise bonsai kittens in bottles

It's amazing how many people were willing to believe this e-mail about a breeder in New York who raised kittens in bottles.Actually, it started as a fake Web site, Bonsai Kitten, the product of MIT students. The idea was so outrageous, it spread like wildfire via e-mail.

2) Sign a petition to ban dihydrogen monoxide

E-mail alerts outlining the dangers of dihydrogen monoxide swept the Internet in the late 1990s and still pop up today. Well, let us tell you one more thing about dihydrogen monoxide: It's more commonly known as water.

3) Extreme technophobia: Pop popcorn with cell phones
With all the talk of cell phone dangers, the idea of radiation from them being powerful enough to pop popcorn doesn't seem that far-fetched, at least on the surface. So why wouldn't you believe the swarm of e-mail telling you to look at the incredible video of friends popping kernels of corn with their mobile phones?

Unfortunately, as you might expect, it was all fake. A company called Cardo Systems made the video to promote its cell phone headsets. Abraham Glezerman, Cardo's CEO, told CNN that the phones were real and the popping popcorn was real, but the video was a composite, with the footage of the popcorn heated over a kitchen stove digitally dropped into the video of the folks with their phones.

4) Bill Gates wants to give you money
Although Gates is being very generous with his fortune now that he has retired from day-to-day work with Microsoft, you can get some of it only by applying to the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation.

5) Launch a nuclear strike from your PC

In 2002, Symantec supposedly issued an advisory about certain e-mail messages flying around the country about an "important virus to look out for." The antivirus-software maker, which does issue warnings on real viruses, allegedly instructed Internet users not to open any e-mail with the subject line "LAUNCH NUCLEAR STRIKE NOW." If you did open that e-mail, you would inadvertently end up sending nuclear warheads winging their way toward the former Soviet Union.

Needless to say, the virus isn't real, Symantec didn't issue such a caution, and it should be painfully obvious that this one is a hoax.

6) Nigeria Scam

The e-mail suggests that your help is needed to claim an abandoned sum of money in a foreign account, or something similar. The message typically promises that you will receive a large amount of money if you simply send a smaller amount of money now.

These convincing missives, which may or may not be from Nigeria, are known as 419 scams (named after a section of the Nigerian criminal code that deals with fraud). Not only will you not get rich, but you'll also have a very hard time getting back any money you wire the sender up front.

7) 'Video: Watch Angelina Jolie's lips explode!'

People kept clickling on dangerous and fake attachments that purport to be interesting photos or videos but actually turn out to be damaging viruses or Trojan horses.

8) Work Virus

Several resources can tell you whether an e-mail claim you're interested in is a hoax. One is Hoax-Busters.org, which describes itself as the Big List of Internet Hoaxes; another is Snopes.com, which specializes in urban legends and hoaxes, and a third is Hoax-Slayer.com. Check out any of these sites before you forward that next petition, chain letter, or crazy photo.

Hoax-Busters also has a list of the "5 Telltale Signs of an Internet Hoax" that might useful.
1) The e-mail will have a sense of urgency about it, and probably a lot of exclamation points in it.

2) The e-mail will insist that you tell all your friends.
3) The text is adamant that this is "NOT a hoax.

4) It will earnestly inform you that there are dire consequences for not participating.
5) It probably is full of >>>> marks, showing that it has fooled a lot of people before you, and has been forwarded all over the planet. Don't add any more!

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Kermit's Thoughts: When I as a teen I was taken in by some of these too. Well just be careful. The harmless ones are fine, but some of them comes hidden with dangerous viruses that kills our computer when we open the attachments. For me, I simply refused to open any attachments files sent via email. Hahah! It works! I have a healthy computer :)

Girls, beware of perverts on MRT

2008-07-21T13:14:00.002+08:00

Reference from AsiaOne Digital 20 July 2008 (Kelvin Teh ) Click on link to see article

The next time you take public transport, be suspicious if you find any handphone that seems to be mysteriously trained on you. Someone can very well be filming or taking pictures of you.

A few mornings ago, as I was taking the MRT to work in an irritatingly-packed train, I glanced up from the magazine I was reading and noticed the man standing in front of me.

Dressed in nondescript T-shirt and jeans, he was holding up his handphone as one would when messaging - except that he was not busy pressing away on his phone.

Instead, he was holding it there in his raised hand while occasionally shifting his hand position slightly. To most people around him, it seemed like he was looking at text messages.

I next trained my sight on where his handphone was pointing to and, immediately, my suspicion was aroused.She was a pretty young lady, conservatively dressed in office wear. She was also dozing, unaware of the scene unfolding before her.

My curiousity aroused, I leaned forward and, true enough, the man was secretly filming the woman with his handphone.

My first instinct was to glance around to see if anyone else had noticed, but everyone was oblivious. I waited a while more, just to ascertain that the pervert was filming her.

And then, I felt rage.

I gave the man a hard shove in the back, pushing the shocked fellow aside. Next, I woke the woman up gently and whispered to her that she was being filmed.

She was stunned and her first reaction was to look up at the fellow, who immediately exclaimed in Mandarin: "I don't have hor. I was just playing with my handphone ok!"

Yeah, right.

At this, the woman folded her arms protectively around her chest but refrained from saying anything.

To avoid embarrassing the girl further, I did not confront the man. In the meantime, the bewilderment on everyone's faces was palpable.

Although I have heard and read accounts of cameras hidden in changing rooms and perverts secretly filming under the skirts of ladies, to witness this personally is shocking.

That person being filmed could very well be my sister or one of my female friends. That a perverted stranger is storing pictures of someone you know - that is a disgusting thing.

But, then again, I guess I am not surprised. Too many such stories have surfaced all too often.So girls, just look out for yourself.

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Kermit's thought: Girls out there, two things from ms cyber wellness

1) DO SOMETHING & dun be afraid to speak up. Don't suffer in silence should u be in a similar situation. The pervert is more scared & more to lose if he is caught. Suffering in silence will only encourage he to target more gals in future!!!!! *JUST SCREAM FOR HELP*! Or ask the person beside you for help.

2) Can we just give the skimpy FBT shorts & short mini skirts a miss. Exposing so much flesh will turn other men on unnecessarily & u might find yourself in DEEP S***!

What it means to be trapped in bankruptcy

2008-06-29T22:07:00.002+08:00

I was prompted to write this article after being "poke" a few times by a persistent fan of mine. Oh I feel so honoured. Anyways thks Prissy :) I felt this is the topic to talk about today because this topic of $$$ & overuse of $$$ (leading to bankruptcy) has popped up to me a few times this past week.

Reference from The Straits Times 24 June 2008 (Teo Cheng Wee)
Click on link to see article
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They are below 30, employed and mired in debt. This is the fastest-growing age group of debtors, say credit counsellors. On average, they owe $55,000 to about seven creditors, according to new data from Credit Counselling Singapore (CCS), a non-profit group which advises debtors.

Under-30s made up 9 per cent of all cases handled by it in 2006, and 13 per cent last year. In the first three months of this year, it went up to 15 per cent. CCS told The Sunday Times that most of these young adults are snared by materialism and a desire for the high life.

They splash money on cars, branded goods, overseas holidays, clubbing and gadgets. Several also gamble their money away.

Last year, people aged 30 and below made up 7 per cent of all bankrupts. In the first four months of this year, that has increased to 12 per cent. He puts it down to them succumbing to the temptations of consumerism, while knowing little about financial and credit management.

She borrowed $50,000 from parents to fund her shopping
If money had not been so easily earned for Joyce (not her real name), 27, she feels she would not have chalked up her $200,000 debt over four years of wild spending.

But it all seemed so rosy when the business graduate started promoting credit cards fresh out of university in 2003. The job, which also pays her commission, allowed her to take home $20,000 to $30,000 a month.
'There I was, not even 25 and drawing a salary that not many people earned. I thought making money was so easy,' she says.

She spent her money lavishly. When she went clubbing with friends, she would pay for the drinks. She also chalked up some $8,000 worth of monthly spending on luxury goods. Bags were her weakness. She remembers strutting into Louis Vuitton or Gucci outlets every month to buy a new bag costing a few thousand dollars.

Spurred on by colleagues with similar spending habits, Joyce felt that image was of utmost importance. 'People who shop at boutiques will know how much those bags cost. I wanted people to know how much I earned,' she recalls.

Her problems started when she switched jobs in 2005, jumping ship to another bank to sell investment products. She thought she could continue her stellar sales record, but she found the going much tougher. Joyce never did well enough to earn commission, even till today. Her monthly salary dipped drastically to $2,500.

But she continued her wild spending habits, applying for more credit cards when she maxed out her current ones. Her lack of income stressed her out - and ironically resulted in her shopping more to relieve the stress.

She also borrowed $50,000 from her parents on the pretext of investment but used it to fund her shopping instead. More expenses piled up when she got married and bought a flat that same year. Her financial troubles peaked early last year when she realised she could not even pay her credit cards' minimum payments.

She had to sell her 60 luxury bags online - many at huge discounts.

But the interest on the outstanding sums was so high by then that she would 'pay and pay, but the money owed never came down'.

'But I told myself: 'Can't pay, can't pay lor. At the most, I have to declare myself bankrupt',' she recalls.

It was only when a close friend explained to her the consequences of bankruptcy - that it would not discharge her from her financial liabilities - that reality finally hit home.

At that point, Joyce also realised how much her work suffered because she was fretting over her bills and trying to hide her financial troubles from colleagues.

Her relationship with her husband soured as they quarrelled frequently about work. Her family shunned her too. She realised that she was often the last to know about any news at home. Till this day, only Joyce's family and a few close friends know of her troubled past.

With the help of Credit Counselling Singapore, she is slowly but surely paying back her debts - about half of her $3,000 salary goes to this. The new Joyce is a much happier person who still has credit cards but has little wish to use them. Asked if she has any advice for other young people, however, and she is skeptical.

She says a friend - who does not know about her financial past - appears to be falling into similar problems but ignored her advice to watch her spending.

'I feel that if someone has a 'heck-care' attitude towards spending, no amount of advice will stop them,' she says. 'My mother used to tell me: 'With young people, you can tell them there is a wall ahead and not to walk into it. But they won't listen until they actually hit the wall.' 'By then, it's too late. You will already have a bruise.'

Do you know that
Upon declaring bankruptcy:
1) Your property can be seized by your creditors to offest your debt
2) You need to declare your pay & pay back your creditors leaving only a sufficient amount to support himself and your family
3) Your bankruptcy will be advertised, so future employers or third parties could find out from reading the newspapers. In some jobs your might be required to inform your employer.
4) You must seek permission to reveal who is paying for your holiday expenses else you cannot take a holiday overseas
5) Your bankruptcy records will be kept for six years and given to banks. You could find it hard to get a credit card or housing and car loans.
Reference from The Straits Times 29 June 2008 (Lorna Tan)

What Daddy Doesn't Know

2008-06-17T23:26:00.001+08:00

Reference from Weekend TODAY 26 August 2006 (Ansley Ng)

To her parents, Alicia is just another 19-year-old who lives with them and is preparing for her A levels. What she hasn't told them is that she is HIV positive and has been so for the past two years.

"My boyfriend who infected me was my first and only partner," Alicia (not her real name) told TODAY in a brief email. "I do not sleep around."

Pressed further about how active she was, she replied:Does it really matter how many times we had sex? Honestly, we had sex probably less than 10 times."

That was enough to add her name to the list of 40 Singaporeans below the age of 19 who have tested positive for HIV.

And yet her case is significant because teens here are still to wake up to the fact that you don't have to be a wild child to get infected. And the number of sexually transmitted infections among Singaporean teenagers has nearly tripled in three years - from 250 cases in 2002 to 678 last year.

You wonder how that can be - considering that since 2000 the Ministry of Education has been running a sex education programme for students from upper primary level. Hasn't it worked? Why are infections still on the rise?

Observers pointed out that sex education should start at home, initiated by parents.

All six parents of teenagers that TODAY spoke to were convinced that their own children had stayed away from sex.

Counsellors and observers told a very different story. Many teens did, in fact, have active sex lives but their parents were often the last to know.

School counsellor Karen Lim (not her real name) said she was seeing an increase in the nymber of students - especially girls - coming to her for help. These girls are worried when they miss their period and do not know what to do, said Mrs Lim, who also teaches biology in a secondary school.

Girls often get pressured into having sex by thier boyfriends. The boys feel peer pressure.

Invariably, it is their friends who they turn to for help.

A few months ago, MP Baey Yam Keng had an encounter with a young single mother that left him "quite affected".

At a Meet-The-People session, Mr Baey recalled meeting a woman seeking financial help who is "no more than 21".

With her 18-month-old daughter in tow, the heavily pregnant Chinese woman - whose boyfriend is a married man - cheekily remarked to Mr Baey:"It's ok, when I am 40 years old, my kids will be in their 20s and they can take care of me."

"I thought that was immature and not very realistic . She is in no position to work and support the family. Teenage sex is a very real problem. So far, there are few answers forthcoming.

Said publishing executive and single mother Jane:"The mentality of teens is 'It will bever happen to me'," she said. To jolt them out of this false sense of security, she offered a bold suggestion. Instead of keeping sex education theoretical, she said that schools should invite teens who are young parents or have contracted HIV or STD, into the classroom for open discussions with students.

"If they can see for themselves that this teen is struggling, it makes it more real," she added.

It was also time for parents to wake up to the fact that everyone was vulnerable - including their own children - and not just the wild children.

Teen HIV patient Alicia recently agreed to be interviewed by some in the local media and reflected bitterly:"So far every reporter I've encountered thinks I am a slut."

Her story, in fact, is simple:"Few are interested in the fact that I was a willing partner and that I loved my partner. All they want to know is how, where, when and what I did to get HIV," she said.

As young Singaporeans are fast realising, this can happen far more easily than they thought.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(Just finished a camp with some of my youths recently & I was prompted to share this with them.)
Kermit's thoughts: What I read from another related article is she has since broke up with her boyfriend....
(even if what people say eventually dies down) Sad to say....Alicia will have to live with the consequences of her actions. Action brings about consequences. She might be infected with some sexually transmitted disease, might never get married, never have children, never find true love. In fact.... I'm not sure if she's still alive now.....
True love waits...

Perseverance Pays

2008-06-05T17:47:00.001+08:00

Michelle Kwan is an American figure skater. She has won nine U.S. championships, five World Championships, and two Olympic medals. She has remained competitive for over a decade and is the most decorated figure skater in U.S. history.

Known for her consistency and expressive artistry on ice, she is widely considered to be one of the greatest figure skaters of all time.

Kwan's interest in figure skating began at the age of five when she followed her two older siblings (ice hockey player Ron and figure skater Karen) onto the ice. Karen and Michelle began serious training when Michelle was about 8 years old. They practiced three to four hours a day, waking up at 3am to skate before school and going back to the rink right after school to skate again.

Paying for their increased skating-rink time led to financial hardship for Kwan's working class family. Her mother took on a second job and her father started working extra hours to finance the rink time and coaching fees. Eventually the family decided to sell their house, but that still was not adequate to finance the children's skating careers. When Kwan was ten years old, her family could no longer afford a coach, but they were offered financial assistance by a fellow member of the Los Angeles Figure Skating Club that allowed them to train at the Ice Castle International Training Center in Lake Arrowhead, California.

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice announced that she has appointed figure skating champion Michelle Kwan as the first American Public Diplomacy Envoy. A role in which she promotes the positive aspects of American culture and democratic principles.

“I’ve always wanted to somehow serve our country, to contribute and to make a difference,” said figure skating champion Michelle Kwan who was appointed as the first American Public Diplomacy Envoy, a role in which she promotes the positive aspects of American culture and democratic principles.

http://michellekwansite.com/gallery/v/events/diplomacy+ambassador/

Kermit: Perseverance Pays! Know ur dream & work hard for it people! PROPER PLANNING HELPS A GREAT DEAL! [That's something I'm working on too :D ]

A poem for our MOM!

2008-05-11T21:35:00.003+08:00

*A mother poem I saw online*

Why are you crying, a young boy asked his Mom?
"Because I'm a woman," she told him.
"I don't understand," he said.
His Mom just hugged him and said, "And you never will, but that's O.K.".......

Later the little boy asked his father, "Why does Mom seem to cry for no reason?". "All women cry for no reason," was all his Dad could say......

The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry.

Finally he put in a call to God and when God got back to him, he asked "God, why do women cry so easily?"
GOD answered......

"When I made woman, I decided she had to be special. I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet, made her arms gentle enough to give comfort...

I gave her the inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times will come even from her own children.

I gave her a tenacity that allows her to keep going and take care of her family and friends, even when everyone else gives up, through sickness and fatigue without complaining....

I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances. Even when her child has hurt her badly....

She has the very special power to make a child's boo-boo feel better and to quell a teenager's anxieties and fears....

I gave her strength to care for her husband, despite faults and I fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart....

I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly....

For all of this hard work, I also gave her a tear to shed. It is hers to use whenever needed and it is her only weakness....

When you see her cry, tell her how much you love her, and all she does for everyone, and even though she may still cry, you will have made her heart feel better.
(My mom & I in Australia last year)
Kermit: I thank God for my mother because she showed me what patience truly means. In my most difficult of days my mom loved me. In the earlier days when my dad was the sole breadwinner & money was tight & tempers are short my mother stood by my dad & chose to endure for the sake of the whole family. I wish I can be a better daughter sometimes. Try to send her small little smses, come home for dinner & spend more time with her. What about you? Let's celebrate our mothers :) Their goodness, love & patience & simply everything!

A Mother's Love (Response)

2008-05-11T21:25:00.000+08:00

Passerby: "nice story, how did the son respond?"

Kermit: Perhaps he never had a chance to.... May each of us live without a moment of regret.

A Mother's Love

2008-03-28T23:41:00.000+08:00

A touching story I received from my fren

My mom only had one eye.. I hated her... She was such an embarrassment. She cooked for students & teachers to support the family. There was this one day during elementary school where my mom came to say hello to me. I was so embarrassed. How could she do this to me? I ignored her, threw her a hateful look and ran out.

The next day at school one of my classmates said, "Eeee, your mom only has one eye!" I wanted to bury myself. I also wanted my mom to just disappear. I confronted her that day and said, "If you're only gonna make me a laughing stock, why don't you just die?" My mom did not respond... I didn't even stop to think for a second about what I had said, because I was full of anger. I was oblivious to her feelings. I wanted out of that house, and have nothing to do with her. So I studied real hard, got a chance to go abroad to study.

Then, I got married. I bought a house of my own. I had kids of my own. I was happy with my life, my kids and the comforts.

Then one day, my mother came to visit me. She hadn't seen me in years and she didn't even meet her grandchildren. When she stood by the door, my children laughed at her, and I yelled at her for coming over uninvited. I screamed at her, "How dare you come to my house and scare my children! "GET OUT OF HERE! NOW!!!" And to this, my mother quietly answered, "Oh, I'm so sorry, I may have gotten the wrong address." And she disappeared out of sight.
One day, a letter regarding a school reunion came to my house. So I lied to my wife that I was going on a business trip...

After the reunion, I went to the old shack just out of curiosity. My neighbors said that she died. I did not shed a single tear. They handed me a letter that she had wanted me to have.

"My dearest son, I think of you all the time. I'm sorry that I came to your house and scared your children. I was so glad when I heard you were coming for the reunion. But I may not be able to even get out of bed to see you.
I'm sorry that I was a constant embarrassment to you when you were growing up. You see....... when you were very little, you got into an accident, and lost your eye. As a mother, I couldn't stand watching you having to grow up with one eye... So I gave you mine. I was so proud of my son who was seeing a whole new world for me, in my place, with that eye.

With all my love to you,
Your mother...

The Fern & the Bamboo

2008-03-27T11:00:00.000+08:00

Got this story from a fren of mine & thought it was really good & timely for me. May u be encouraged as well :)

One day I decided to quit...I quit my job, my relationship, my spirituality. ... I wanted to quit my life. I went to the woods to have one last talk with God.

"God", I said. "Can you give me one good reason not to quit?"

His answer surprised me.

"Look around", He said. "Do you see the fern and the bamboo?"

"Yes", I replied.

"When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I took very good care of them. I gave them light. I gave them water. The fern quickly grew from the earth. Its brilliant green covered the floor. Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo.

In the second year the fern grew more vibrant and plentiful. And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo.

"In year three there was still nothing from the bamboo seed. But I would not quit. The same in year four.

"Then in the fifth year, a tiny sprout emerged from the earth.

Compared to the fern, it was seemingly small and insignificant.

But just six months later, the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall.

It had spent the five years growing roots. Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive. I would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle.

"Did you know, my child, that all this time you have been struggling, you have actually been growing roots? I would not quit on the bamboo.. I will never quit on you.

"Don't compare yourself to others." He said. "The bamboo had a different purpose than the fern. Yet they both make the forest beautiful.

"Your time will come", God said to me. "You will rise high"

"How high should I rise?" I asked.

"How high will the bamboo rise?" He asked in return.

"As high as it can?" I questioned

"Yes." He said, "Give me glory by rising as high as you can."

I left the forest, realizing that God will never give up on me. And He will never give up on you.

Never regret a day in your life. Good days give you happiness; bad days give you experiences; both are essential to life.

New Beginnings

2008-03-14T17:04:00.000+08:00

So sorry fans! Been so caught up at work that didn't get to blog :P

Took this photo at a fren's place. It was meaningful because it reminded me of an incident that happened recently.

I had a misunderstanding with a good fren recently & she hasn't been picking up my calls & smses. I felt really really really sad. Sad that this misunderstanding happened, sad that things turned out this way, sad that we couldn't talk to sort things through.

But God reminded me through this picture that all hope is NOT lost. Maybe it's the beginning of something better. With that in mind I finally shook myself out of the whinny mode of despair. I choose to wait in faith. I believe things will eventually work out. Perhaps now we just need to give each other a bit of time & space to sort out our thoughts.

I hope this encourages you because it really did encourage me!

My Second Dish with earnings!

2008-02-12T21:08:00.000+08:00

Oh my gosh! After looking through my older posts I realized it was only after a long 5 months that I've embarked on my second dish!!! Pai seh pai seh *blush*

The best thing about me is I need to write my recipes down else I'll simply forget how to cook it. Blogging it down is good! :P

I'm certainly more encouraged to cook. My frens says that the rice is good! (Despite the fact that I've forgotten to add salt!!!! Maybe the oyster sauce in the marination is salty enough) Another encouragement is I actually made $15 from cooking the glutinuous rice!!! Heeheehee!!! Looks like this could be one of my hidden talents after all.

One of my dreams is that in future whichever country I go I can survive with a meaningful skill. And as one of my fren says "Cooking will never go out of need because people need & (some) love to eat!!!!"

Glutinuous Rice/ 糯米饭
Why I should cook this:
Simply yummy & easy to prepare. To balance this high carbohydrate dish you can add more chicken & mushroom or even green peas. However don't over eat on this as glutinuous rice takes a longer time to be digested.

Ingredients:

• 0.5kg glutinuous rice

• soyabean oil

• pepper
• five spice powder

• oyster sauce

• shallots, pounded

• garlic, pounded

• chicken slices

• chinese mushrooms

• handful of dried shrimps

Preparation:

1. Soak Chinese mushrooms in water overnight till soften. Cut into small pieces

2. Marinate mushrooms & chicken (separately) with oyster sauce, pepper, sesame oil, five spice powder

3. Add garlic, shallot, dried shrimps & mushroom. Fry until brown.

4. Add glutinuous rice & chicken & fry. Add a little water to prevent rice from sticking to pan.

5. Once all the ingredients are throughly mixed, transfer the rice mixture into a steamer.

6. Steam for 30mins. Thereafer check if glutinuous rice has soften. Else steam for another 10mins.

Note:

1. Do not need to soak glutinuous rice overnight. Just wash the rice clean before use.

2. Add chicken together with the rice else will end up overcooking the meat.

Kermit's Learning:

Dun take five more months to cook the next dish. Heys people remind me!

*Special thanks to "My mother who taught me!"*

Internet rape - are you safe?

2008-02-04T10:39:00.000+08:00

Reference from Digital Life Oct 22, 2007

16-year-old Amanda (not her real name) is your typical teenager who enjoys hanging out with her friends and surfing the Internet.

There was something irresistible and liberating about the way she could just come home from school, throw her real identity out the window and take up whatever persona she liked online. With her cute nicknames, Amanda never fell short of online friends who enjoyed chatting with her. Her favourite friend, though, was 29-year-old 'bikerboy2000', who was always sweet, considerate and knew exactly what to say. Both exchanged personal information and she soon found out his real name (for this purpose, let's call him John).

In return, Amanda revealed her own name, school and contact number without any qualms as she trusted him and wanted to meet him.

John finally asked her out for lunch three days later and Amanda agreed, albeit reluctantly at first. Her first impression of him was that John was shy and boyish. But his constant praise of her beauty had Amanda hooked - she felt like a princess in his company.

On their second date, John said he liked her a lot and asked Amanda to be his girlfriend. She was elated and couldn't believe her luck. She was so smitten that when John invited her to his place on their third date, she hurried over brimming with anticipation.

That was when Amanda's luck ran out. John started to get physically close to her, and when she pulled away and asked what he was up to, John attacked her. Dazed and confused, realisation slowly sank in. Amanda had been raped.

Time stood still - five, ten, even 20 minutes could have passed - she wasn't sure but after the ordeal ended, Amanda dashed out of John's house and ran straight home.

Her grades plummeted as Amanda battled with feelings of worthlessness, shame as well as the fear of pregnancy and parental rejection. She withdrew from her friends and family until she one day, she couldn't hold it back no longer.

She told her close friends about the awful experience and received intensive counselling. She made a police report and identified John, who's currently being investigated.

Amanda soon learnt that she wasn't the first girl that John had raped. Despite feeling angry at her own stupidity, she also learnt a valuable lesson from her experience. She's now a more Internet savvy user and understands what to do to avoid becoming a victim.

Her advice - NEVER reveal your identity or address online, as well as your school, mobile number or online profile (such as Friendster or Facebook) as your identity can be easily traced.

Be careful of people with seemingly innocent nicknames and dispositions online.

Ultimately, do not meet up with strangers you meet while chatting, even if they insist on doing so.

After all, prevention is always better than cure.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kermit: How true. Some scars stay with you for the rest of your life. Is it worth taking the risk then????

Hang Loose for a Moment

2008-01-25T23:58:00.000+08:00

A boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had not phoned in sick one day. Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers, he dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper.
>>"Hello ? Is your daddy home?" he asked.
>>"Yes," whispered the small voice.
>>"May I talk to him?"
>>The child whispered, "No."
>>Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mommy there?"
>>"Yes."
>>"May I talk to her?" Again the small voice whispered, "No."
>>Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, "Is anybody else there?"
>>"Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman."
>>Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak to the policeman?"
>>"No, he's busy , " whispered the child.
>>"Busy doing what?"
>>"Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman," came the whispered answer.
>>Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise in the background through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, "What is that noise?"
>>"A helicopter." answered the whispering voice.
>>"What is going on there?" demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.
>>Again, whispering, the child answered, " The search team just landed a helicopter."
>>Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, "What are they searching for?"
>>Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle..."ME."

------------------------------------------------------
Kermit: Got this joke from Joanne. So funny!!! :P

Satisfying Motherhood

2008-01-06T21:17:00.000+08:00

When I hear someone comment that being a mother and homemaker is boring, I have a simple response: You’re right!

The truth is, almost any occupation – telephone operator, pathologist, lawyer or dentist – requires long hours of tedious activity. Few of us enjoy heart-thumping excitement every moment of our professional lives.

I once stayed in a hotel room next to the room of a famous cellist who was performing in a classical concert that evening.

I could hear him through the walls as he practiced for hours. He didn’t play beautiful symphonic renditions – he repeated scales and exercise, over and over. He began early in the morning and continued until it was time to go on stage.

As he stepped onto the stage that night, I’m sure many in the audience thought to themselves:” What a glamorous life he must lead!”

Some glamour! I happen to know how he had spent the entire day in his lonely hotel room with his cello.

I doubt that being a mother and homemaker is more boring than most other jobs. As for the importance of the assignment, I believe that no job can compete with the satisfaction of moulding & guiding a child.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Kermit: Do you like what you're doing (E.g. working, attending CCAs, studying etc etc)? Yes/No/Not Really? If no/not really.... Do you then know why you're still doing what you're doing? WITH THE END IN MIND, things could sometimes be much clearer & makes more sense!
Studying - Teaching us to use our brains & equipping us with knowledge
Working - To earn a living & provide for our families & a kick start in our career life
CCAs - To train us in useful skills beyond mugging geeks!!

Embrace Change

2007-12-27T10:25:00.000+08:00

Sometimes in the winds of change

We find our true direction.

Kermit: Dun b afraid of the unknown or future to come. Am generally a very safe kind of person but is learning to slowly take steps out of my comfort zone. & it has been enriching & exciting thus far. The greatest barrier is sometimes in our mind :)

From a 过来人point of view. Haha!

Peace be with you!

2007-11-06T00:47:00.000+08:00

There once was a King who offered a prize to the artist who would paint the best picture of peace. Many artists tried. The King looked at all the pictures, but there were only two he really liked and he had to choose between them.

One picture was of a calm lake. The lake was a perfect mirror, for peaceful towering mountains were all around it. Overhead was a blue sky with fluffy white clouds. All who saw this picture thought that it was a perfect picture of peace.
The other picture had mountains too. But these were rugged and bare. Above was an angry sky from which rain fell and in which lightening played. Down the side of the mountain tumbled a foaming waterfall. This did not look peaceful at all. But when the King looked, he saw behind the waterfall a tiny bush growing in a crack in the rock. In the bush a mother bird had built her nest. There, in the midst of the rush of angry water, sat the mother bird on her nest... perfect peace.

Which picture do you think won the prize?

The King chose the second picture. Do you know why? "Because," explained the King, "peace does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. Peace means to be in the midst of all those things and still be calm in your heart. That is the real meaning of peace."

Isaiah 26:2-4
You will keep him in perfect peace, Whose mind is stayed on You,Because he trusts in You. Trust in the LORD forever, For in YAH, the LORD, is everlasting strength.

Sexual Grooming (Getting Sex Via Sweet Talk)

2007-10-22T21:24:00.000+08:00

The Sunday Times, September 23rd 2007

One girl tells Nur Dianah Suhaimi how she was taken in when an online 'friend' turned on his charm offensive.

When I met Jetson , I was 15 and was looking for a boyfriend online. At school, almost all my female lassmates had boyfriends. I had never even been on a date. I never had a guy come up to me asking for my number. But on the Internet, things are different. Guys come up to me because they cannot judge my looks. That was how it started with Jetson. He was 25 when we met yet we connected so well. He didn't treat me like a kid the way my parents and teachers do. When I told him my age, he asked about school. He was concerned that I was failing half my subjects and advised me to work hard. I was touched. My parents rarely paid attention to my grades.They were more concerned about my elder sister who is a straight A student.
That first time, we chatted for five hours - from 10pm until 3am. He was smart, funny and kind. He gave me a cute pet name. Before we ended the chat, he said to me: 'I think you're a very interesting girl. You must be beautiful too. The boys in your school must be stupid not to be your boyfriend. 'I was flattered. Nobody had called me beautiful before. Then he asked me out.'I must see what you look like,' he said.
Two days later, on a Saturday afternoon, we met outside Orchard MRT station. I was a little disappointed when I saw him. He was short, skinny and had many pimples. He wore jeans with a white polo tee. But he was as nice to me as he was online. We had lunch at Burger King which he paid for. We then went window shopping and he held my hand. I felt happy and proud. Proud because a 25-year-old guy who was mature and nice was holding my hand.
He was very gentlemanly. He kept asking if I felt tired and if I needed a drink.When I spoke, he'd put his face close to mine and listen intently. Before we parted at the train station, he gave me a long kiss on the lips. My heartwas beating so fast. It was my first kiss. We went out again the next week. Again, he kissed me.
On the third date, Jetson suggested we go to his flat in Bukit Batok. He lived with his parents but they were at work. (Kermit - this guy could be a bum living off his parents! No wonder so much free time!) At his place, he kissed me many times as we watched TV in the living room. There was heavy petting. After that date, Jetson asked me to be his girlfriend. I was already falling in love with him so I agreed. All our dates after that were spent at his flat. Without fail, there'd be heavy petting. I'd go to his place as often as three times a week, mostly after school becausethat was when his parents were not home.
Each time, Jetson would ask me for sex but I said no. I was afraid of getting pregnant. He'd get upset and tell me he was so close to his ex-girlfriend becausethey had sex. This would make me angry and jealous.
About two months later, I revisited the chatroom where I had met Jetson andfound out that he was still chatting. I became suspicious and decided to chat withhim using a different nickname.
I was shocked. He used the same tricks that he had earlier used on me. He gave me a pet name and said I was beautiful. He also asked me out. I realised that I had been used by this pervert. I called him on the phone and broke up with him. He didn't even explain himself; he just kept quiet.I never saw Jetson again. I also stopped chatting. I'm now 17 and still do not have a boyfriend but that's okay. I don't want to risk being used as a sex object again.

Switzerland 2007

2007-10-18T00:31:00.000+08:00

Just came back from Swiss & jumped straight into a work trip in Malaysia then right into my church camp in St John's island. In total I was away from home for about two weeks. Thankfully my mom was very understanding. Totally busy recently I would love to share more about my wonderful holiday otherwise.

Switzerland - Awesome land of natural beauty

Snowy alps - when u're that close to them, right there with them, woah! the feeling is indescribable. Want to go back again someday

Conquering the mountains! - That's the mountain we conquered. 2.5hrs to trek down. Some parts were so steep we feared for our lives if we missed our footsteps. Definitely memorable journey. At the foot of the mountain though we can't see any possible path from which we could have trekked down from but in our hearts we know there is a way that we came down. Different angle, different perception. I wonder if He's smiling. Looking up or peering down - the view's different.

The 5 Love Languages

2007-09-23T22:56:00.000+08:00

Our emotional love language and the language of another person may be as different as Chinese from English. No matter how hard you try to express love in “English”, if your friend understands only “Chinese”, you will never understand how to love each other. There are basically five emotional love languages—five ways that people speak and understand emotional love.

Words of Affirmation: I feel especially loved when people express how grateful they are for me, and for the simple, everyday things I do. (Generally in words/writings)
Quality Time: I feel especially loved when a person gives me undivided attention and spends time alone with me
Receiving Gifts: I feel especially loved by someone who brings me gifts and other tangible expressions of love
Acts of Service: I feel especially loved when someone pitches in to help me with some work or running some errands
Physical Touch: I feel expecially loved when a person expresses feelings for me through physical contact

Communicating love isn’t as easy as feeling “in love,” because it’s quite a different thing. Falling in love is not an act of the will or a conscious choice. It’s effortless. Love is something you do for someone else, not something you do for yourself. When you choose to speak someone else's love language, whether or not it is natural for you, though you might not even like the language, but speaking it will clearly communicate love. Love is a choice.

Think about your family, close frens, special frens. What is their love language? Can you bless them today by speaking a love language that they understand best? :)

*Special thanks to http://www.fivelovelanguages.com/

Rats & My First Dish

2007-09-18T01:04:00.000+08:00

Remy the mouse & the late Auguste Gusteau, France’s greatest all-time culinary genius, is the author of Anyone Can Cook, the cookbook that inspired Remy to dream of becoming a chef.

One of the slogans that etched deep in my memory bank is "Cooking requires bravery, courage, creativity! It is not for the faint-hearted!"

Man! I never see cooking this way before. Anyway after talking about cooking since 21 Aug I've finally cooked my very first dish after last Sunday.

Ma Po Tou Fu / 麻婆豆腐 (Bean Curd with Chili Sauce)

Why I should cook this:

This is an inexpensive dish that is rich in protein, iron & calcium. The small amount of meat stretches the vegetable protein in the tofu, & adds B vitamins. Although the dish is low in kilocalories & relatively low in fat, it’s quite substantial. Add a light, salt-free soup, a small bowl of rice, & a portion of deep green or yellow-orange vegetable, & you have a well-balanced meal.

Ingredients:
• 4 soft soyabean curd squares (tofu)
• 1T soyabean oil
• 0.5T sesame oil
• 4 shallots, pounded
• 4 cloves garlic, pounded
• 1.25cum piece ginger, pounded
• 150g lean beef, minced
• 1T preserved soyabeans (taucheo),rinsed and pounded
• 4 spring onions, cut
• 2 tsp light soy sauce
• 1 tsp ground Szechuan peppercorns
• 1T Chinese rice wine
• 1T tomato puree
• 2T tomato ketchup
• 2.5 tsp ground red chilli
• 1T dark soya sauce
• 0.5C (125ml) chicken stock

• 1T cornflour

Preparation:
1. Dice the bean curd into 1.5cm cubes, place in a colander in the sink, and allow water to drain off for 30mins
2. Heat the oils in a wok over moderate heat; add the pounded shallots, garlic & ginger, & fry for 30secs. Then add the minced beef & fry until it loses its pink colour. Add the preserved soyabeans and spring onions and stir.

3. Add remaining ingredients except the cornflour paste & bring to a boil. Add the cornflour paste & stir-fry until the sauce is thickened & clear.

Kermit's Learning:

1. Dish must not only taste good but also look good. I cut some ingredients too fine such that only see the tofu at the end.

2. Less ketchup (too sweet), more chilli

*Special thanks to "the complete Asian Health & Diet Cookbook"*

(A true warrior) Inside & Out

2007-09-15T22:43:00.002+08:00

Arise warriors arise!

A four-year-old boy was finally put into time-out after battling with his mother. "Sit in that chair until the timer goes off," the mother said in frustration. The boy sat down, fearing greater punishment, but said, "Okay, Mommy. I'm sitting on the outside, but I'm standing up on the inside!"

Last weekend wasn't fantastic. Had a misunderstand that lead to much frustration & anguish. Half of me was battling to do the right thing, the other part of me offered nice little excuses & reasons not to. Put it simply I felt lousy & defeated. Yucky yucks feeling.

After a while of self pity & guilt I woke up one morning with this sudden thought that popped in my head. "You're a warrior. Warriors fight, warriors emerge victorious."

Woah woah woah. It's pretty amazing. As suddenly as it came I suddenly realized that though I was a warrior on the outside (My church's theme for 2007 is everyone of us are warriors of light) but really inside of me I wasn't one.

Well whimpy warrior no more. And my favourite female warrior is non other than Hua Mu Lan! Yeah! Arise warriors arise!

Didn't know you were married! xDDD

2007-09-09T22:40:00.000+08:00

"WinDz: Hey, haven't visited for a longggg time . Didn't know you were married ! xDDD"

I had a minor shock then burst into laughter when I saw the tag from an ex-student! (Hey there WinDz no offence eh to use your tag as a story! I'm inspired that's all! :P)

Eventually I'll be married WinDz but currently I'm not a Mrs yet!!! :) So who are these people calling me mummy. I'm not into adoption either. keke! I've to do a bit of history digging here. These are my extremely close bunch of church mates. So close that we're "related" literally.

My friend invited me to a Christian rally years ago and there was no looking back. From someone who disliked anything related to Christians previously somehow I became more open to going church. It must be a miracle. A good miracle at that! Started attending church with Penny & that girl wanted to join a cell group! OMG she actually called church to asked how to join one. Anyway being good frens that's how I got dragged into one. *But heys Penny dear, thanks!!

In church I've a spiritual family & belong to one. My spiritual "mother" Serene is a lovely mum! I've learnt so much from her. She'll always avail herself to listen when I'm troubled. Best of all, she believed in me even when I don't myself.

From a shy, suspicious, angry, uptight person. I'm glad to say I'm much happier, more confident, learning to trust & enjoy having some lame & fun now. Thanks be to God! Who loves us & has a wonderful plan for each of our lives.

The Power of a SMILE

2007-09-02T22:49:00.000+08:00

Saw this on Reader's Digest September 2007 edition "The Power of a Smile - by Anne Mullens" & thought that it's really good.

It's 7am, and Susan Jenks would love more sleep, but she can hear her 5-month-old son, Angus, rousing in the next room. "I'm hardly able to drag myself out of bed," says this mother, who, with both an infant and an older son aged two, is no stranger to fatigue. "But when I look into his cot, and he gives me a big smile, it fills me with joy - and then everything is fine." Such is the power of a simple smile.

Studies have found that if a parent responds to a baby's smile with an expressionless face, the infant gets upset. "This indicates how important the caregiver's smile is for the infant," Infants of depressed mothers also show fewer signs of happiness and smile less often than infants of non-depressed mothers.

Keltner notes that while some people are born with generally happier temperaments, which set them up for success, others can become happier by being taught how to cultivate a genuine smile.

"In the happiness literature," the greatest association with happiness is connection to others. Teaching smiling is important becuase it helps us connect.

Putting on a happy face not only helps us make friends, it translates into altered brain chemistry that makes us feel better.

A smile is a powerful part of our conversation capability. If you can't smile, you are very limited in your ability to pass on information and relate to other people. (Dr Ralph Manktelow)

Also 一人一半，感情不散....

2007-08-30T00:23:00.000+08:00

Tribute to Mr Chong who found this video i grabbed from his blog de. www.historymaker20736.blogspot.com . Check out his original post 一人一半，感情不散....

Dun ask me why I just love the music. Catchy and reminds me of the show (watched local production 881 with my colleagues). I didn't really laugh much with the flood of hokkien songs - probably due to language barrier. The ending was unpredictable for me. So touching! Sobs :~(

The storyline gets better and better as the show progresses. The small papaya, though she's like so gusty and loud but she has her tender side too towards her "sister".

One thing I got from the show was the sacrifical love of small papaya, the carry chicken guy & the auntie. Each of them gave up something because of their love & commitment to another. That act of sacrifice may not appear big in another person's eyes but from my point of view (as a viewer) I think it means a great great deal to the receiver.

My not so NEW hobby

2007-08-21T02:02:00.000+08:00

(You know I must be really excited to be blogging at such a weird timing - Yes of course! I've just completed my scheduling for my Australia trip, hopefully can confirm the air tickets tomorrow. keke)

I'll be going for my holidays soon! Oh I'm so excited!!! Previously I've only travelled to the Asian countries like Thailand, India and China (oh yes China. Will be there again next year. Join my team in Chengdu to help the vagabond children!)

It was pretty interesting actually. A fren of mine asked if I would like to visit Switzerland with her. My immediate response was "NO"! I'm not someone who spurges on holidays to destress plus the fact that I'm planning for a long awaited family trip to Australia soon; money and annual leave are huge concerns. However almost immediately this other thought came into my mind (seriously the brain is really powerful; mine is! It's like in a split second so many things have flashed passed my brain monitor) "Oh Cynthia you ulu turtle, haven't seen much of the world ya". I paused for a moment. dotz dotz dotz. It's true. The last time I went for a real playing holiday was after my graduation to Redang Island with my friends. Well long story cut short -> I've been bubbling with excitement since then. Snowy mountains here I come!

Many good things have actually came out of this decision to go for the trip. Money/savigns became something that I started thinking about seriously. I can no longer be satisfed with my current savings. Rather I need to replenish them to a healthy level again. (Love for money is the root of all evil. True godliness with contentment is itself great wealth. After all, we brought nothing with us when we came into the world, and we can’t take anything with us when we leave it.) Dun worry I'm not going crazy on a money finding spree. But I'm now on the lookout of finding some good skills or a personal forte. A good skill that I can leverage on wherever I go in future.

After a week of seeking. Ta-da! This is my first option! COOKING! I used to cook when I was younger. I stopped trying to cook for my family when I got really busy studying etc. Oily kitchen is a no no. So it's not just any cooking. Probably healthy cooking. Minus the frying and the whatever that will stink the kitchen and make the floor oily.

Okies. Enough said. Gotta pick up a cookbook soon.

A lifetime's not too long to live as friends

2007-08-14T22:17:00.000+08:00

Sandy Beaches Golden Sand, hope you be my faithful friend...

In my primary and secondary school days when it's time for us to switch classes or even schools at the end of the year, many of us will flash out nicely decorated autograph books to get them autographed (Which really what Friendster is doing now - just that the medium is different)

We pen words, poems; paste stickers, photos etc etc to beautify up the little space that our frined has entrusted to us to leave our paw prints on. It still bring back fond & some faded memories when I flipped through my dusty, yellowy autograph book. Some are really hilarious! (I'm sure those I wrote was too. Haha)

I typed "Definition of a true friend" and million of pages came back. I looked through some of them and decide to come up with my own. Not because theirs is not good but I felt that my definition/expectation of a true friend will be different from someone else's definition. Simply because each of us are unique and different. How a true friend is really true to a person may not mean as much to you. (I'll talk more about this in Langauge of Love some other time)

The last time that I was really traumatized by an unfortunate happening in my life. I called a really good friend of mine just wanting to talk to her a bit. But as I shared with her there was a point I just kept quiet a bit choke by my emotions then. But she understood. Initially I was still trying to assure her that I'm fine & that I just needed someone to talk to. That's all. Trying to sound normal over the telephone thinking that she won't see the tears. Though she was busy she just gave me that time and told me that she will not put down the phone or talk till I'm feeling better. I wept quietly over the phone with her for... I can't remember how long.

At the end of the conversation though she didn't have an answer to the problem but I felt assured and comforted deeply to know that someone is alongside me. Praying for me, not allowing me to fall, wanting me to be strong again. It really touches me. Thank you so much Penny. I always thank God for you.

FRIENDS by Michael W. Smith

Packing up the dreams God planted
In the fertile soil of you
Can't believe the hopes He's granted
Means a chapter in your life is through

But we'll keep you close as always
It won't even seem you've gone
'Cause our hearts in big and small ways
Will keep the love that keeps us strong

Chorus:
And friends are friends forever
If the Lord's the Lord of them
And a friend will not say never
'Cause the welcome will not end
Though it's hard to let you go
In the Father's hands we know
That a lifetime's not too long to live as friends.

With the faith and love God's given
Springing from the hope we know
We will pray the joy you'll live in
Is the strength that now you show

Dreams - Elusive or Within Reach

2007-08-09T16:17:00.000+08:00

Met up with a fren recently. Lynn & I didn't know each other for long but we hit off pretty well. She was going overseas to study really soon so we arranged to meet up, have a drink before she files off to pursue her dream.
She's going off for two years in Switzerland to study watch-making. Isn't that cool cool cool! It's not really the kind of profession that would come immediately to the mind of a typical Singaporean. Most of us dream about being a doctor, businessman, teacher, banker, dentist, actor etc etc.

I asked Lynn why she chose that course and she says that it was a chance opportunity that that she heard of the course from a close church friend. Incidentally around the same period of time she found out about a distant relative of hers who has been in the industry. She tried it out a little at his place, feels that it suits her personality; considered about it, discussed with her parents and mentors, flew over to Switzerland for the entry test and passed the interview. (Not everyone have a knack for handling watches you know!) And the rest is history.

Here's the link for your reference. http://www.wostep.ch
WOSTEP (Watchmakers of Switzerland Technical & Educational Program): a unique institution in its field. WOSTEP is an independent and neutral institution that is recognised as an exemplary training centre in the field of watchmaking. The WOSTEP courses can be held in English, French, German and Italian.

I admire her courage and daring to step out of her comfort zone. How many of us truly have a dream and know what we want? I can't even say that I already know that for myself. Well, I know what I don't want and roughly what I want. But to really really confidently say I know my dream... not really really yet. It's complicated. Ya, it is. So start thinking about it early! You're never too late. At least don't drag anymore. At least you have chance to trial and error along the way.

Go for it young people. Explore your various strenghts, interests & talents early. (Yes to study hard but don't just mug in the sea of books all the time) It will help you in making some decisons along the way. :)

We're all unique and brought up in different environment so don't expect everyone to have the same dream as you or if yours need to be the same as them. If yours is non conventional it aint't mean you're any less than others. Each of us have our own race to run. You can't run another person's race; neither can another person run your race.

From Lynn (when I asked if I could share her story) - Pursue your dreams. Nothing is impossible with God!!

Bride wears cheongsam, groom in kilt

2007-08-03T18:25:00.000+08:00

July 30, 2007 The Straits Times

(A mix of cultural traditions at wedding nuptials of MP Irene Ng and Graham Berry)

THE groom read a poem of love and spoke of a union that crossed continents. The bride quipped of a union that fulfilled four government policies. She is from Singapore and he is from Scotland.

The four policies their marriage covered: it is pro-family and it promotes active ageing, foreign talent and racial harmony.

Policy or poetry, the wedding of MP Irene Ng to Scot Graham Berry was a sweet, elegant affair that mixed elements of the couple's different cultural traditions.

They were married in Scotland on July 7, after a whirlwind romance. They met last August and he proposed two months later.

Yesterday, Ms Ng, 43, and Mr Berry, 62, held their marriage blessing ceremony at the Church of Singapore in Marine Parade.

The church hall was decorated with white orchids, tartan ribbons, teddy bears and organza. Music by the T'ang Quartet - the couple's favourite string ensemble in Singapore - filled the air before the service began and photos of their wedding set against the scenic Scottish highlands were screened.

Ms Ng glided in, on the arms of her father, looking radiant in a white cheongsam with a sheer kebaya-like sheath over it.

Her father, Mr Ng Soo Chye, 75, told The Sunday Times later: 'I had been hoping for this day to come. I have attended many church weddings and I would always think when it would be my turn to walk my daughter down the aisle.

'I thought I had no chance but thank God that I could walk my daughter down the aisle today.'
Beaming with pride, Mr Ng handed his daughter to Mr Berry, who was dressed in a Scottish kilt. The tartan design was from his late father's regiment when he fought in World War II.

Before guests, that included the President, Prime Minister, Cabinet ministers, MPs, family and friends, the couple also shared their love story.

They met at a reception in Edinburgh on Aug 17 hosted by Mr Berry as chief executive of the Scottish Arts Council. Ms Ng was on a three-month fellowship at the University of Edinburgh.

A day later, he asked her out for lunch purportedly to talk about 'collaborations' between their two countries, but he was really just keen to meet her, he confessed.

Love blossomed. Dates, of hikes, walks and concerts, followed. He proposed just before Ms Ng, an MP for Tampines GRC, left for home.

But she couldn't give him an answer until he visited Singapore and her Tampines GRC constituency. He did so in November, and fell in love with the country and her constituency.

Home now for him will also be Singapore. His two children, Louise, 38, and Mark, 36, from an earlier marriage, who were at the ceremony, both expressed their happiness for the couple.

Friends and family were also visibly happy for the couple, touched by their declarations of love and affection. Said labour chief Lim Swee Say: 'I'm very sure they will have a lot of happiness together.'
As the day came to a close, Mr Berry told reporters: 'The weather was good, the company was fantastic, the church was wonderful...and of course, who can ask for a more wonderful bride.'

'Dear Graham and Irene, Wishing you both many years of joy and fulfilment together!' PRIME MINISTER LEE HSIEN LOONG AND WIFE, MS HO CHING, writing in the couple's guest book before the ceremony.
'I'm very happy for Irene. I want to welcome Graham to Tampines GRC. Hopefully, we've got a new grassroots leader. They look wonderful together and we wish them a long and happy marriage.' NATIONAL DEVELOPMENT MINISTER MAH BOW TAN, who is also the anchor minister for Tampines GRC where Ms Ng is one of the MPs.
'Irene and Graham look very happy together, very much in love and we are very happy for them.' MISS PENNY LOW, MP for Pasir Ris-Punggol GRC
'The hope is always there.' MISS LOW on whether Ms Ng's marriage gives hope to single women.
'I hope it will be contagious.' MP AHMAD MOHAMAD MAGAD, interjecting Miss Low.

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Kermit: How sweet :) And it seems the parents are amongst the happiest around as they see their children settle down.

Teen reports molest case a decade later

2007-08-01T18:49:00.000+08:00

July 30, 2007 The Straits Times

A TEENAGER now, she finally reported to police that she had been sexually molested when she was just five.
She had kept her ordeal to herself for over a decade.

The teen, now 15, finally made a report to the police earlier this year. On Monday, her relative, a 24-year-old man, appeared in a district court, accused of committing a series of obscene acts with a child spanning a period which began in 1997. Both the man and the girl cannot be named as it would lead to her identity.

The man is said to have first sexually assaulted the girl when she was only five in a flat in the north-eastern part of Singapore in 1997. The following year, he allegedly repeated the offence in the same flat. He was also accused of sexually assaulting the girl again in 2002. No plea was taken.

The man, now out on $12,000 bail, was warned by the court not to approach the teen while he is on bail. He is due to return to court on Aug 16. If convicted, he could be jailed up to two years.

*************************************************************************

Kermit: Gosh, she actually kept quiet about it for so long - 10 years. I think the relative might have still been harassing her else she might have continue keeping quiet about it.

But the relative is not like some old ah-pek.....he is just a youth!!! (24yrs old now, so 24 - 10 = 14; he started when he was 14!!!!!! ) How scary.... Keeping quiet might not be the best long-term solution. Girls if you're in trouble or need help, PLEASE approach a trusted adult or email me at kermittee@hotmail.com

The Test of Time

2007-07-26T21:29:00.000+08:00

If you want to know whether or not you're really in love, give it the test of time.
Infatuation is the name we give to that first bright burst of attraction between two people. It sets our pulses racing, and it makes us think of clouds of and fireworks, and stories that end in "happily ever after."
There's no doubt that infatuation looks and feels very much like love. The only problem is it doesn't last; it's a quick, emotional high, with no commitment behind it. And when it runs its course, we find ourselves back where we started, with little or nothing to show for the experience.
How then can we distinguish real love from temporary attraction? If the feeling is unreliable, how can we measure the commitment of the will? There's only one answer to that question: It takes time.
The best advice I can offer a couple contemplating marriage, or any other important issue, is this: Make no important life-shaping decisions quickly or impulsively. Measure your motivation carefully, and when in doubt, stall for time.
Give your emotions a chance to evolve and oscillate, If your love is real, it can handle the wait, and your relationship will be all the stornger for the seasoning of an unhurried foundation.

***************************************************************

Kermit: It's true. Though the wait can be unbearable sometimes but time will surely tell. My mentor told me this once which I feel was very enlightening:

There's no need to be overly concerned about romantic interest or target. Start by being a friend. At the end of the day, if nothing comes out, we still gain a friend! *lightbulbs* Let's be enjoying the friendship because friendship built will last a long time to come.

Changing Our Views of Parents

2007-07-23T13:38:00.000+08:00

(To the lovely Ting sisters)

I'm more convinced every day that a great portion of our adult efforts are invested in the quest for that which was unreachable during childhood. The more painful the early void, the more we're motivated to fill it later in life.
For example, a friend of mine named Diane had a father who never met the needs for love and attention and belonging that a father should satisfy in his child. Even today, this man seems oblivious to the pain he's caused his daughter.
Diane used to find herself feeling disappointed and hurt and rejected each time he failed to come through. But then she learned, quite by accident, that her dad had been severly abused and wounded as a child.
His own father and mother had died when he was a boy, and the aunt to whom he was sent was so severe, she even forbade him to cry.
After hearing this account, Diane suddenly saw her father in a different light. He was not just a rejecting father, he was a man with a handicap... an emotional handicap. Diane's experience is not that unique in family life. So often, those loved ones who continually frustrate and disappoint us are reacting to deep wounds from their own formative years. If we can react compassionately to them instead of expecting them to be what they can't, we can transform our families from battlegrounds into places of harmony.

*******************************************************************
Kermit: To the people who've asked me what this post about. If our parents are sometimes unable to provide us with the kind of love that we wish for; if they frequently quarrel though it really saddens me; if they talk about divorce though I never wish to see them apart; if they beat & scold me as if they don't love me anymore.... is it because they hate me? is it because they no longer care for the family??? Maybe the answer is NO. Perhaps when they were younger they were mistreated by someone and the only way they know how to love me is to scream & beat me.

It doesn't make sense. Yes it doesn't. That's how deep some hurts could be. Just like Diane's dad. It's not that he doesn't love his daughter or wishes to reject her. Perhaps he doesn't know how to love her because he has never really experienced love.... What he got from his so called family was just beatings, verbal abuses etc

When we are discontented with our families, maybe we can try seeing deeper beyond the surface. Dig deeper into their past and perhaps shed some light into the present.

I'm NOT addicted!!!

2007-07-10T19:11:00.000+08:00

Guild Rules & Regulations:

1. No vulgarities

2. Always encourage and be affirming

3. No kill-stealing

I'm in a guild!!!! Yea Yea Yea! Thanks grins! Our volunteer who donated 5 million mesos to establish this guild.

See I stressed that "I'm NOT addicted!!" but I was almost drawn into it. How do you explain how a grown adult would spend her 1st $10.70 on A cash for double EXP (gaining double experience point) & spent a few precious nights busy levelling up. I've never been the gaming kind of person. The few games that I used to play when I was young were Bubble Puzzle & Brick Game. Get the point.

As I thought about it realized that the two key reasons I'm so attracted to Maple is the thrill of levelling up (It definitely helps me press on with the mundane slashing of goats & ducks & mushrooms) & playing with my friends. (Note: I already know them in my real life. Strongly discourage you from making online friends. The danger element is always there)

If an adult with all her real world responsibilites can be ALMOST addicted, how about school children who have much spare time on their hands. Think about it....

Control the game & have fun but definitely not let the game control you & rob you of real life achievements. :)

Tips to foul a stalker's plan

2007-07-10T18:50:00.000+08:00

Read this article on the papers recently. Thought it was scary.

(Summarised version)
Sales lady Candy was stalked by a customer whom she tried selling some items to. Initially the man BB seemed harmless enough, coming by the make shift booth with 4 kids in tow - his nieces & nephews. As a sales person she was friendly & helpful naturally. They exchanged numbers upon his request.
The nightmare begins... BB started sending Candy loads of sms & persistently calling her up. When she decline to meet him, he accuses her of looking down on him due to his lack of education. Feeling bad she relented and agree to meet him once at a public place. One or two more meetings follow after that as Candy finds it difficult to reject his insistent advances. Eventually she couldn't take the repeated calls, various requests to meet up & started avoided & ignoring him. To her horrors BB found out where she stays and sent her letters of threats & even smashes glass bottles at her house - totally tramuatising Candy & her family.
Unable to cope with it any further Candy made a police report & BB was arrested. For Candy her troubles does not end here... "What would happen after he is released...It's only a few weeks...."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
A fren of mine was recently stalked as well. As I discussed with her we came up with some good-tips.
1) Share with a trusted adult
2) Be more thick skinned than the stalker - do not even entertain with any sms replies. Simply ignore all the way. Otherwise he/she may thinks that you're interested
3) Avoid being emotionally blackmailed. (See above)

Make a little space (in ur heart), to make it a better place

2007-06-23T16:48:00.000+08:00

I'm no Mother Theresa I can't fly to the poorest part of the world just to help the poor. And by the time I get there I'll probably freak out by the devastation. Give up, go home.

Let's be practical. We probably need many baby steps before we get to the final big leap. Start by making a little space, making room in your heart for people. Like that pregnant lady who is going to reject me even if I offer my seat OR the suspicious blind lady that is selling tissue paper.

Each time we shut our eyes to someone in need we're really a step closer to a colder, more harden & less trusting heart.

Somebody gotta take the first step right. Let that be me. Let that be you!

Poor Paul Getty (Happily Married)

2007-06-14T18:24:00.000+08:00

Amercian educator William Lyon Phelps once said: "Every man who is happily married is a successful man, even if he has failed in everything else." I certainly agree.

For many years, I lived a short drive from the J Paul Getty Museum in Southern California, which houses some of the most incredible artwork in the world. This priceless collection was just one small hobby for Getty, who was reportedly the richest man alive in his time. He ruled an enormous oil empire. When asked how much he was worth, he answered: "Several billion dollars," and then added,"...but remember a billion dollars isn't worth what it used to be."

Getty was a workaholic. He had six failed marriages and poor relationships with his sons. His wives said that they could never share a life with this man who was possessed by an all-consuming passion for business. What do you suppose J Paul Getty thought about on his death bed, in June of 1976? Here's one quote that opens a window into the soul of a very sad man. He said: "I hate and regret the failures of my marriages. I would gladly give all my millions for just one lasting martial success."

So, J Paul Getty was perhaps the poorest man who ever lived. It's my wish that we become bother richer and wiser today, by learning from his mistakes.

Kermit says:

I don't think it's about rushing into marriage. But

1) Consider marriage if your original thought is to stay single all your life (I don't want to grow old alone)

2) If you're already married. Work on it if it's not perfect. Don't invest all your time into other engergies!

The Power of Music

2007-06-11T16:29:00.000+08:00

Check out the original post at http://chinfen.blogspot.com/ "You Alone"

From a fren's blog. I thought it was really lovely. Supposedly a slow & slightly melancholy song. But the way the music was rearranged gave a sense of strength & hope to it. (In my opinion).
Music is really powerful. Being someone who's musically inclined listening to different kinds of music can either perk up my day or successfully get me into some bluey kind of mode.
When I was younger I love drowning my sorrows listening to all the lovely dovey love songs on 93.3FM. Not very healthy for my kind of personality. I could memorize & replay all those songs in my head & imagine myself as those sad characters portrayed in the songs.
So, do be careful to the kind of music that you listen to. It could be subtly brain-washing you. If you need HOPE, do drop me an email. I have better alternatives of music to offer :) kermittee@hotmail.com

(Lyrics)
You are the peace that guards my heart, my help in time of need
You are the hope that leads me on, and brings me to my knees.
For there I found You waiting, And there I found release
So with all of my heart I worship, And unto You I sing
For You alone deserves all glory, for You alone deserves all praise
Father, we worship and adore You, Father, we long to seek Your face.
For You alone deserves all glory, for You alone deserves all praise
Father we love You And we worship You this day.

Let Children Express Anger

2007-06-08T16:55:00.000+08:00

Chances are, at least once or twice during your time as a parent, you’re going to do or say something that will make your child angry with you. Should he or she be allowed to express that emotion?
If a child grows up unable to verbally express his negative emotions toward his mother or father, he will often show it in ways that psychologists call “passive aggression” instead. He may pout, wet his bed or get bad grades in school, or perhaps even eat too much.
Usually, children aren’t aware these choices are being fuelled by anger and that they are unconscious ways of expressing accumulated hostility. So, it is important to allow your children to ventilate the irritations they’ve stored inside.
On the other hand, I firmly believe children should be taught to be respectful to their parents. It is not appropriate to permit name-calling, back-talk, sassiness and disrespect. Instead, I think it’s wise to tell children that they can say anything to us, including very negative things, as long as these things are said in a respectful manner – for example:” You’ve embarrassed me in front of my friends.” Or:” Sometimes I think you love Billy more than me.”
By following this general guideline, we’re teaching children how to deal with anger, which might come in handy with their future husbands or wives.

Child Sex Tourism

2007-05-23T18:08:00.000+08:00

I just attended a conference about "Helping the Poor". Speaker Jackie Pullinger mentioned that more than a million children are drawn into prostitution each year. One million is alot.

"On this trip, I've had sex with a 14 year-old girl in Mexico and a 15 year-old in Colombia. I'm helping them financially. If they don't have sex with me, they may not have enough food. If someone has a problem with me doing this, let UNICEF feed them."
-Retired U.S. Schoolteacher

"Maria is . . . prostituted by her aunt. Maria is obliged to sell her body exclusively to foreign tourists in Costa Rica, she only works mornings as she has to attend school in the afternoon. Maria is in fifth grade." (Fifth graders are about 10-12yrs old)

Child sex tourists are individuals that travel to foreign countries to engage in sexual activity with children. The non-profit organization End Child Prostitution, Child Pornography, and the Trafficking of Children (ECPAT) estimates that more than one million children worldwide are drawn into the sex trade each year.

Poverty is the main reason that pushes children into prostitution. Many nations with thriving sex tourism industries are nations that suffer from widespread poverty resulting from turbulent politics and unstable economies. Young children are lured away from broken homes by "recruiters" who promise them jobs in a city and then force the children into prostitution. Some poor families themselves prostitute their children or sell their children into the sex trade to obtain desperately needed money.

The Internet has also facilitated the recent rise in child sex tourism by providing a convenient marketing channel. Websites detail sexual exploits with children and supply information on prices in various destinations etc.The easy availability of this information on the Internet generates interest in child sex tourism and facilitates child sex abusers in making their travel plans.

Information taken from the U.S. Department of State
http://www.usdoj.gov/criminal/ceos/sextour.html
http://www.state.gov/g/tip/rls/fs/2005/51351.htm

There's a special evil in the abuse and exploitation of the most innocent and vulnerable. The victims of sex trade see little of life before they see the very worst of life -- an underground of brutality and lonely fear. —President George W. Bush before the UN General Assembly, September 2003

Who will help these children?

Sweeting Talking No More

2007-05-23T17:53:00.000+08:00

One of the guys who arranged to meet the 13 year old girl up introduced himself as a basketball coach after she revealed that her true identity - a reporter. According to him he just wanted to recruit female basketballers for his school

A week after the article was flashed on the front page of The Straits Times I read in the papers that the basketball coach was fired. What happened was that a member of the school found the man mentioned in the papers very familiar and highlighted it to the principal. The school proceeded to call and verify with The Straits Time. The coach was subsequently called in. The principal (an all girls primary school) asked him if the person was really him. And guessed what this guy said:" It's me but I asked her all those questions because I just want to make sure that no sluts will join our school's basketball team"

For the safety & well being of the students, the school fired the coach as they are concerned over the kind of influence he might have over the young girls under his care.

Thank goodness for the alertness of the teacher who raised the alarm!!!

Don't Get SWEET-TALKED!

2007-05-09T02:45:00.000+08:00

Check out the recent Sunday Times on 6th May 2007:

Men prowl Internet chatrooms & lure young irls into meeting them for sex. Reporter Cheryl Tan poses as a 13-year-old schoolgirl & gets indecent proposal one after another.

"Petting is like a massage. Just wear your bikini and I'll give ou a full body massage" - SPRING, 24

"I let you see me naked, you also show me yourself naked." - UnWANTED, 17

"I teach you everything tomorrow," he promised. But I had to let him "feel feel" me. - Eric,32.

Darren, whose pick-up line was to ask if I was keen on earning $1,500, called me "girl". HE asked for my age, my school, and why I was not in class on a Friday morning. For that amount of money, all he wanted from me was to "accompany" him. The 27-year-old who claimed to be an advertising manager said he wanted us to "chill out" together at his home. He asked to meet me at a playground near the HDB flat he lived in. Offered to pay for my cab fare & said we could have breakfast & watch comedy movies. He gave me his mobile number.

When I got there and called him, he asked me again if I was really 13. WHile I waited on a slide, Darren circled the playground several times. He then disappeared behind a block of flats and hid behind a pillar.

My phone rang - it was him. He claimed he did not see me and asked to meet at the lift lobby instead. When I faked unfamiliarity with the area, he finally approached me.

The first thing he asked me was: "Are you the girl I chatted with online?"

When I identified myself as a reporter, Darren immediately denied knowing that I was 13. Even after he tried to inch away from me, he insisted that his motive was purely innocent. He "really just wanted to watch movies" with me at his flat. Two hours later, a woman who claimed to be his girlfriend called to say someone has impersonated Darren & posted his mobile number on the Net.

Girls, don't get sweet talk. I don't even waste my time with any online strangers. The real posion lies deep within the sweet honey coated words. This reporter was just doing a case study. But I wonder how many young innocent gals may have fallen prey to some of these sweet talking perverts.

Happy being Me

2007-04-30T23:43:00.000+08:00

(to give honour when it's due) I "coup" this video from my fren's blog. Check out what he wrote at http://iamwaimun.blogspot.com/ "I am Beautiful"

Singapore's Version:

Had my share of feeling fat, ugly & totally unhappy when I was young. I had short hair (a boy's cut) since primary school days and all the way till JC. Wearing skirts was like so off. Hahaha. Perhaps it was just a growing up phase - teenage years can be a real headache sometimes. But I enjoy looking good & dressing up now. And it starts small.

If you:
1) Happen to be a friend of a girl who seldom wear skirts or dress up -> Friends can help by just paying a simple & nice compliment instead of making as if some major castrophone has happenend. It make the person more embarrased than anything and would have second thoughts about dolling up again.

2) Happen to be a girl who seldom wear skirts or dress up ->
(a) It's ok, there's nothing bad. You probably just can't be bothered with the hassle of it.
(b) If one fine day you happen to change your mind. JUST DO IT. Try not to be overly conscious of friends who make a hoo-ha over your change of waredrobe. They're really just trying to be kind :) And what matters is how you are happy being yourself. Being who you really are INSIDE & OUTSIDE. I'm sure your friends will understand that.

Let your true colours SHINE through

Netherlands Version:

Yummy freebies!

2007-04-04T17:53:00.000+08:00

Kindness inspires kindness

2007-03-29T18:23:00.000+08:00

I was touched by someone's kindess last week, so much that i'm still thinking about it today & finally blogging it down.

I was offered a nice little cup of cappuccino when I most needed it. It came at the right time & was the right thing that I needed. The person was a distant friend (as in we don't really know each other well & have not met for more than a year) which particulary made the act of kindness so memorable.

I wonder if that friend of mine knows that I'm still wow-ing over that cup of cappuccino.... I STILL AM!!! :)

Flattery vs Praise

2007-03-13T13:23:00.000+08:00

It's a good thing to praise children for the praiseworthy things they do. But is there a limit to the compliments we offer them?

Praise is essential to a child's self-esteem and the children who grow up without it typically wither like un-watered plants. But too many good words for the wrong reasons can be inflationary in nature. This is called flattery, and the essence of it is that it is unearned. It's what Grandma says when she comes for a visit, "Oh, look at my beautiful little girl! You're getting prettier everyday!" Or, "My, what a smart boy you are!" Flattery happens when you heap compliments on a child for something that he does not achieve. Praise, on the other hand, is a genuine response to good things that you child has done. To be effective, it should be highly specific. "You've been a good boy" is too general. Much better is, "I like the way you cleaned your room today!" Or, "I'm proud of the way you studied for that math assignment last night!"

Praise reinforces the child's constructive behaviour. It tells him he's done something positive and valuable, and it makes him want to repeat it. Parents should avoid sliding into empty flattery. But they should always be ready to offer genuine praise to those who deserve their commendation, and that includes every child if we're alert to the opportunities around us.

Who I am when no one is looking

2007-03-12T22:55:00.000+08:00

I teach. (*nopes I'm not a teacher, keep trying .... if u wish... hahhaha)

One of the things I teach is Cyber-Grab (Piracy... Burning & ripping CDs to MP3... pirated VCDs... software....games...plagarism etc etc).

I love to share a personal example of what I heard our wise teacher Mr Hee Guan shared with us before. There was once during our gathering Mr Hee Guan gathered us (as best as i could quote him):

"Hey young people you know... life is not easy.... In our life people can steal many different and precious things from us. Our happiness, $$$, loved ones or even virginity (in some bad cases la). But there's ONE thing, ONE precious thing in your life which no one one can ever steal away from you though you may choose to throw it away yourselves. Do you know what is it?

(I thought really hard but no smart answer)

And that one thing is your I*N*T*E*G*R*I*T*Y "
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Wow!!!! What a big word...integrity... what's that??? I was already in the university then but this word came as a big word to me. Well I'm the cheena, chinese kind. Big words like that requires me to check the dictionary.

I*N*T*E*G*R*I*T*Y is more than honesty. It's choosing to do the right things even when no one is looking.

At that point in time I secretly wished that I could have heard it earlier because I was reminded how I throw my integrity away on a daily basis. The earlier days before our current ezy-link card system comes about, Singapore still uses transit-link card. With transit-link card bus commuters select the bus fare themselves. The bus ride from my home to the university is more than an hour, that is about the full fare of $1.00 or $1.20 but I will select the 65cents fare regardless of how long the bus journey is - rationalizing within myself that my family is not rich and I need to save whatever spare I could to better use. Choosing to do the right thing is super difficult can.....but I've come to learn that it's not impossible.

Just try for the 1st three times doing it. And you realized that it gets less & less difficult each time. Usually it's the first time that seems unattainable. But that's rubbish I assure you. Remember -> the brain becomes what the brain does.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Back to sharing with my students:
With the evolvement of technology & the Net there is now more & more greys areas. Pirated vcds, cds... seems like so many people out there are doing it..... how do u share with the kids..... or even convince them of something tat's so precious (integrity) Man..... (I need help). Though many people out there are doing it doesn't mean it is right. I think I was given a chance to go thru the 65cents days so i can have a good laugh over myself for the NOW as well.

HAHAHA.

New New New

2007-02-28T18:27:00.000+08:00

Haven't blog for soooooo long due to my busy schedule. Finally can set my thoughts down to share.

I'm doing something new recently -> to learn to do new things. Complicated???!!
I tend to stay in the familiar and comfortable zones of my life. Being in unfamiliar zones scares me.
This year's challenge for myself is do new things!!! I'm scared but excited too. Sometimes the feelings of excitment exceeds that of fear but on other days .....
One new thing I did recently was to upgrade my trusted lovely Nokia phone 6510 to a PDA phone. It's a hearty four years old!
Still learning to figure out the features. Within eight days if i can find any problem it's an exchange for a new set.
I started reading my emails & talking on MSN once with my phone. Pretty slow as I'm not used to the small screen and typing etc. But the feeling roxxxxxx BIG TIME!

Love WITH Respect

2007-02-09T18:28:00.000+08:00

When a child is convinced that he is greatly loved and respected by his parents, he is inclined to accept his own worth as a person. However, I’ve observed that many children know they are loved by their parents, but they reason to believe that they are not respected by them.

These seemingly contradictory attitudes are not so uncommon in human relationships. E.g a wife can love her alcoholic husband, and yet disrespect him for what he has become. Thus a child can conclude in his mind, 'Sure, they love me because I’m their child – I can see that I’m important to them – but they are not proud of me as a person. I’m a disappointment to them. I’ve let them down.'

It’s very easy to convey love and disrespect at the same time. You are tense and nervous when a child starts to speak; you interrupt and answer questions for him; you lecture her before she goes off to spend a weekend at someone else’s house; her hair is a mess and you reveal your frustration in getting it right. These are signals that you don’t trust that boy or girl with their image.

Loving your child is only half the task of building self-esteem. The element of respect must be added if you are to counterbalance the insults that society will throw at him or her.
****~~~~****~~~~****~~~****~~~~****~~~~
This is pretty cool. It's something that I've never thought about before. Hmmmm. Got me thinking. It's a fine balance to maintain.

I am MAD - Part II

2007-02-04T22:01:00.000+08:00

But one day... just be prepared.... one fine day the volcano will still explode cause it's full!!! :(

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Won't you like to prevent a volcano's continuous eruption? Eruption is not good. It's destructive to others & self.

Whenever I erupt. I would feel very very guilty after that. I'll just share something which I've learnt before. It's known as A, B, C. (It's a thought process that guide you step by step to better understand yourself)

Activating event
- Scolded by mother
Consequences/Consequential action
- Bang the door as I go out to show my unhappiness at being scolded
Belief system
- My mom doesn't love me

Basically because of my belief system (mother don't love me) I banged the door as an act of protest. Since she doesn't love me I bang the door she also won't care what.

In actual fact this couldn't be further away from the truth. I remember that I felt guilty after that and called home to apologize after much deliberation. She sounded really sad & said that "sorry" very easy to say but it's difficult to recover from the hurt inside.

My perception of my mom was incorrect. She loves me. She loves me enough to feel hurt by my actions.

Thank God that was years back & things has improved.

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Many times people jump from A -> C-> B. But A -> B-> C is really the way to go. If we could pause a little longer to think and ask ourself what's our belief system (B) is. Then we will be able to manage our consequential actions & feelings (C) better. In my case if I know that my mom loves me then I probably would not have banged the door knowing that it will sadden her. The plus point is we probably will end up a happier person as well. :)

I'm sorry this turned out to be a complicated posting. Are you confused by all the words???? Leave me a comment perhaps & we can discuss further.

I am MAD - Part I

2007-01-31T17:31:00.000+08:00

A better title than the above can be "Anger Management". But I prefer "I am MAD".

It's usually not a nice sight when someone is angry (which realistically prompted me to find the most ugly picture around)

Personally I tend to just sulk and frown & coop it inside & hope that it will go away soon. Then I go all quiet. My good friend always tell me that much as I try to act normal she can easily tell when I'm mad. hahha...

What's your first reaction when you get upset?

1) Fly into a temper?
2) Let out a word or two to ease the frustration?
3) Coop it all inside yourself & hope it goes away?

From my personal experience. Option 3 is not that great a choice. I can keep keep keep & try to stack it deep deep down inside. But one day... just be prepared.... one fine day the volcano will still explode cause it's full!!! :(

The brain BECOMES what the brain DOES

2007-01-27T13:19:00.000+08:00

A professor shared that this quote that really impacted me. The brain BECOMES what the brain DOES.
E.g. if you keep reading books, your brain becomes an expert in reading books;
if you keep watching television, your brain becomes an expert television watcher.....OOOHHH

We are in the News!!!

2007-01-17T09:38:00.000+08:00

Jan 17, 2007 - The Straits Times
By Tan Hui Yee & Chua Hian Hou
IS THERE A GAMING ADDICT IN YOUR HOME?

IT MAY start out looking like a harmless hobby, but for more and more Singaporean youths, video and computer games are becoming a serious obsession.

Five or six years ago, about one patient under the age of 19 admitted to the Institute of Mental Health (IMH) in a year would have problems associated with gaming or Internet addiction. Now, about 12 of the roughly 200 new young in-patients the institute sees every year need treatment for such problems, said Dr Daniel Fung, a senior consultant psychiatrist at the IMH's child guidance clinic.

The warning signs are varied, but not difficult to spot: withdrawal from social activity, worsening grades, restlessness when away from the computer and even outbursts of anger if prevented from playing games. The problem is significant enough that a new centre was opened in August last year to help young people truggling with game addictions. So far it has handled more than 40 cases. Touch Community Services, which runs this 'cyberwellness' centre in Bukit Merah, provides mentoring and counselling for young people and also works with their parents on the problem.

The rising number of cases comes as online video games like World Of Warcraft and MapleStory become more popular. A 2004 report by research firm IDC put the number of gamers here at more than one million.

In one case the centre saw last year, a secondary school boy had lost touch with many of his friends after moving to a new estate and resorted to online gaming to get to know people. According to Touch's cyberwellness and sports manager, Mr Poh Yeang Cherng, the boy eventually became hooked, spending more than 12 hours a day playing the game MapleStory. Once an extrovert, the boy turned moody, his grades slipped and he began playing truant. After the boy went for counselling, he made friends with the staff and mentors at the centre. Meanwhile, his mother attended workshops to understand the difficulty her son
was going through and joined a support group for parents having similar problems with their children.
Today, the boy spends only about two to three hours gaming every day and has found a new group of friends.

Mr Poh said it is important to understand the child's motivation. In some cases, he may want to feel the sense of achievement, or like the competition or immersing himself in another world. By identifying the motivation, it is easier to address the problem.

Experts said that parents can prevent their children from becoming video game addicts by keeping a look-out
for the warning signs and engaging their kids in meaningful activities. They also said that some parents who notice signs of addiction do not react until their children begin failing exams or throwing temper tantrums.

Delaying action can allow the obsession to get out of hand, making it harder in the long run to help the child get back on track.

What would you do? (part 3)

2007-01-10T17:30:00.000+08:00

Interestingly, saw this article on the papers.

Jan 9, 2007
TEENS VENT ON ONLINE DIARIES FOR THE WORLD TO READ
(as reported on The Straits Time Interactive (Digital Life) on 9th Jan 2007):
Miss Emily Butler used to keep a pen-and-paper diary. But after her mother found it, the Arlington, Virginia, teenager started pouring out her feelings online.

'When there were days when I just needed to rant, it felt good,' said Emily, 16, a second-year student at Yorktown High School who started a blog on the site Xanga a couple of years ago.

'Once I discovered, like, posting online, it definitely became, 'Why would I write it in a book?' '

Online diaries have become a well-known phenomenon in recent years, with teenagers and young adults attracted to the genre in huge numbers.

Parents, teachers and police constantly urge young people not to reveal too much about themselves online. They warn that disclosures might be read by university admissions officers and potential employers, not to mention stalkers and paedophiles. But a review of major blogging and social-networking websites shows that online diaries remain popular for teenagers, and interviews with experts and young diarists such as Emily help explain the psychology behind going public with what used to be private thoughts.

Of course, it is hard to know how many of these diary entries represent truth, fantasy or something in between.

Ms Rochelle Gurstein, author of The Repeal Of Reticence, a book about the erosion of privacy in the United States, said the blogs seem to reflect an 'unprecedented change' in teenagers' sense of modesty.

'The teenage girl that used to be the most vulnerable, protected member of society is now unsupervised, left to her own devices, with access to the Internet, and what does she do?

'Broadcasts to the whole world to see her in her most vulnerable moments.'

Many young bloggers say they do not think people other than friends are reading their journals.

Professor Gerald Goodman, professor emeritus of psychology at the University of California at Los Angeles, said young bloggers are following a deep human impulse. 'This is practically genetic, this need to be known by another human,' he said.

Emily acknowledged that relating online provides a social buffer. But that is part of the appeal. 'Saying, like, 'Hey, do you like me?' ' she said. 'In person it would be the most awkward thing in the world.' Breaking up online is also OK, she said. Then she reconsidered: 'Breaking up online is so sixth grade. Like, by eighth grade you should at least call them.'

Teenagers and young adults are using online diaries to talk about their innermost thoughts. -- POSED PHOTO
-- The Washington Post

What would you do? (part 2)

2007-01-09T18:06:00.000+08:00

To clarify why I didn't post what the gal actually posted in her blog but described what I read instead. This is because whatever you post on the Net is freely accessible, anyone could have easily search out who she is.

I checked up with a counsellor friend of mine. According to him, from the counselling point of view -> It's difficult to help someone who's unwilling to be help.
Been following up on her blog. She seems better now; has stopped talking about slashing herself though most of her post still revolved about her relationship woes. I guess she's just pouring her "sorrows". Not a major problem.... just that the whole world gets to read it. And if you see your name/school name up there in the blog...well well well, I won't want to think what kind of confrontation would follow.

What would you do?

2007-01-04T17:59:00.000+08:00

I came across this very depressing blog. It's real, it's not made up or stuff. The writer of the blog was very depressed, upset, emotional. She's apparently giving up her boyfriend to her best friend. She's semi suicidal and she's resorting to slashing herself (at least that's what she claims in her entry) to release her "pain".
What would you do if you were me? A mere stranger who chanced upon such a blog? Can I help her? Or watch her waste away?

Please type your reply in the comments not the tagboard. Thanks.